singzeon.


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29 June 2011:

I shall do a post since my viewership has plunged once again.

Maybe I shall start talking about my awful rash.

Last Tuesday while I was doing duty in the morning, I suddenly felt an itch spreading from my neck to my upper back. I took off my tie (because thankfully duty ended) and started scratching. Not a good choice, I know that now.

Throughout the whole day, I was busy scratching. By recess, I started feeling spots on my neck. I immediately knew it was a rash. But I still do not know what caused it, since I have never had it in years. The ones I have are very, very mild like those the appear after a camp, but they appear for only 1 hour or so. This time, it's been 5 hours, and even the itch won't die down.

When I went home in the evening, I applied a lot of soap on my neck and back during shower. The spots seemed to be rather bad; the whole area was red. On that night, I did research online, and found out that it was my sebaceous gland.


Yes, that is the sebaceous gland. So, what followed was days of misery. Untiln now, the rash has not fully healed, but my back is almost healed. My neck still has some of it.

Hopefully it'll heal fully by next week. Because of that, I can't wear my tie during duty and recess. Although I have a perfectly valid excuse, I'll feel very uneasy once I reach the canteen without a tie.

I actually have more stuff to share, but because I'm now rushing my homework (no time partly cos I watched 阿娣), so maybe I'll leave it to next time.

TTFN.

Shameless self-promotion: Formspring.


25 June 2011:

Anyone follows @BvsSG on Twitter?

If I'm not wrong, @BvsSG came up only a few days ago. The concept of the account was rather interesting, posting what a British and a Singaporean might probably say of an incident or issue. The concept was a hit amongst teens like me, and within a few days:


This screenshot was taken about 9.40pm. I'm sure it'll steadily increase at least for a few days. I really take my hat off him, being able to think of so many funny and apt scnearios and phrases.

But.

How does he react when he has a "hater"?


This way. Me: O.o

Then, his friends (or maybe some random follower that decided to 拔刀相助) tweeted him and he RT-ed them. I cut and pasted some tweets that were ... "objectionable".



Me: ?! Does this guy know PR? Although yes he has a lot of followers, but what how he replied was seriously not right. Of course, I aren't a PR manager or anything, but I'm sure doing that just make those people who are sitting on the fence drop to the other side!

He also made a thank-you video to his followers. Watch the whole thing, and you'll realise what else he talks about his haters.

I seriously, seriously don't think that was nice of him. After all, if he were to look back, what his "haters" said were merely facts. It was complaints of him being "noisy", which meant that he was posting too much. As much as I like it, I have to agree that sometimes people are irritated by 5 tweets at a go, or mass RT-ing.

In fact, others might get annoyed by his awfully funny tweets and make a mental note to ignore it. Isn't he defeating his purpose of reaching out to as many people as possible with his tweets?

While I was screenshoting all the tweets above, I saw that he rebutted the hater:


Which was an epic failure. Because according to Wikipedia, "aren't" is the more correct and accepted contraction. And if I'm not wrong, "ain't" is more American, which is very funny, since he talks about British vs Singapore English.

///

Joanne Peh recently ranted about service at Nandos. Already, people are accusing her of being a diva and being difficult towards staff. Can you imagine if he was in her footsteps?

(It sounds like leadership theory but) followers should be earned. Somehow I feel that he is taking for granted that since he posts such awesome stuff (which really is), he should be getting followers, and all haters should __(insert phrase)__. Oh well.

Disclaimer (being such a kiasu person I have to, after such a post): 1. I am in no way related to @LiTing_g. I don't even know who she is! So if you wanna say that I'm doing this post just to help my "friend" or what, no I don't know her. 2. This is not a hate post. I'm not trying to get everyone to not follow him and flame him. I'm just airing my thoughts about what he has done. 3. I am not the best in this world. If there are things that I have said wrongly in this post, anyone can clarify it with me. If anyone is really adamant about it, I even don't mind changing my post, so long as it is the truth.

By the way, I'm still following @BvsSG, cos what he tweets about are real funny! But I still don't like it when he becomes too cocky. :/


24 June 2011:

昨天晚上又看到了我挺喜歡的一幅畫。

這幅畫,我真的很喜歡。1893 年的 The Scream,由 Edvard Munch 所畫的。因為自己對於這幅畫有一點認同感,所以感到特別親近。先給你看看這幅畫到底是怎樣的吧。


乍看之下,是否一頭霧水?啊,這是怎樣的一幅畫?!沒錯,就是這麼一幅畫。

我是不是好像有點語無倫次。。。

是在小學的時候,讀《讀者文摘》,才看到這幅畫。裡頭有一篇關於此畫被盜走的文章,文章的最後一頁就有著這幅畫的小照片。立刻被深深吸引了;當時在乎的只是為何它那麼「怪」。

畫中的男人在做什麽?他為何那麼驚訝?

到了去年我上中二,這幅畫是我們課程中的其中一幅畫。又一次接觸了這幅非常精彩的畫。現在,我終於能夠深刻的瞭解這幅畫。

畫家以非常沉重的基調帶出焦慮的意思;在畫家的網站上,這幅畫就是收錄在「Anxiety」當中。隨後我開始在想:這畫家畫出這幅畫,是擔心自己即將死掉嗎?天空是如此沉重,而遠方的水體又是呈現的這麼洶湧澎湃。

在畫中人的後頭,有兩個人。他們是走向畫中人,還是遠離畫中人呢?我不知道。在網站上,有個美術學生留言道,那兩人是在走掉。因為他們已經克服了這麼一個焦慮;畫中人的身形是波浪形狀的,後頭的兩人則是「正常」的。於是說,他們因為克服了焦慮,身形也便會正常,但畫中人還是處在那樣的狀態中。

藝術是很主觀的:你怎麼看,我怎麼看,沒有對錯。只要能夠證明自己的觀點,那樣的觀點也能成立的。

於是,這是我的觀點。畫中人怕的是明天,怕的是未來。對我來說,畫中人像是在拍照,而順便附上他的內心感受。那兩個人在遠走,遠離他。本來,他也必須乘著那條路走下去,但因膽怯,所以停下來,露出如此害怕的表情。

天空呈現一片深紅,又帶有一點藍色。危險、荊棘即將來臨:這是傍晚了。一到夜晚,整個環境都會瀰漫一種未知數的感覺。水中的洶湧,更加深了畫中人的害怕、焦慮。水體似乎在給他提示:危險即將來臨!

難怪他會這麼怕。他因害怕,連身體都成了波浪形狀。

畫家使用了深色來完成整幅畫。由此可見,他更像表達出畫中人這種內心的忐忑、焦慮。以這種情況來說,有誰還值得開心?

有時候,我們也會害怕明天吧。可能明天是作業的期限,你害怕因沒做好。屆時,交作業時,不妨在老師質問你的時候,給予她 The Scream。


23 June 2011:

我打這篇文章有CIP分拿嗎?

今天,W老師吩咐我與另外3位同學去幫忙裝置兩架衣架。這衣架是給學生理事會放置新訂購的外套的。放學了,我們即刻到了老師說的課室等她給我們另外的吩咐。其中一位同學開始說了(略喲更改,但意思沒變):「我們又不是學生理事的一份子,何必浪費時間幫忙呢?」另外一個表示認同。

我接獲鑰匙,聽到了此話,生氣的說了「你要是不想幫忙,那沒關係,你們可以走!」說罷便擅自走了,也不顧背後的喊聲。

到了辦公室,領了衣架,到了學生理事室。自己開始跟著指示裝衣架;也不顧其他同學不在。

心中挺不滿意的。爲什麽人們都那麼市儈呢?難道,就因為不是學生理事,就不能幫忙他們之中的人以下?

大概做完了一個衣架,他們找到我了。我只想著要做完那衣架了,不顧他們的想法。我們最終做完了兩架衣架。作罷,他們奔向球場。

我生氣的,不是因為他們而已。而是因為整個社會都處在這麼一種爲了利益的狀態。每每都能聽到人們被問及是否能參與活動時,其中一項必須查明的是「做完這個有分拿嗎?」何必呀。

難道,分數才是我們做事背後的燃油嗎?難道,沒了分數這個利益存在,我們就什麽都不做?

當然,我也能瞭解當中的原因。誰想像白癡一樣,獨自拼命,而大家都在做其他事或在享受?做著做著,他們也會因而失去興趣,覺得自己自討沒趣。

可是,我們有必要為每個活動都標明自己有參與嗎?得到認可說好的;人們現在仿佛是在逼別人給予他們認可。

去年聽到其中一位老師在說話時,提到了一個活動。其中她說道,要是自己的CIP分數不夠,可以去參加這個活動。心裡頓時感到難受。這麼一來,參加活動的學生都是抱著「之後有分數」的心態參加。而老師便可以草草解決活動沒人參加的問題。

可惜。


20 June 2011:

對於武術最近的領導重整,我有點不滿。

開始覺得自己像是個社會的異議分子。別人不是漠不關心,就是接受老師和教練的決定。但是我沒有。我不認為其中一位適合當領導。

我並非想說自己比起他是多麼的優秀,但是我覺得他的個性不適合當一個領導者。

最近的露營,我看到了他的表現。我必須承認,他也不是到一無是處的地步。他的確也有可取的地方,但對我來說,他不足的地方是改過了他的優點。

其一,他目中無人。我看過他對於一些長輩(就算是年紀比他大一、兩歲,我也稱之為長輩)的無禮的態度。我覺得,那不是朋友之間的開玩笑。我認為,那是他性格作祟,在挑釁別人。除此之外,我也看過他對一些老師的無禮;那擺明是無禮。我對老師開過玩笑、別人對老師開過玩笑,但都不是他那樣的。

其二,他我行我素。曾經在露營看到他與其他人的小爭執。我知道爭執在團隊里是難免的。不過,依他的回答,那絕對不是解決爭執的辦法。他要的只是別人聽他的意見、觀點,但是卻不會往復。

我知道很多人都支持他的。就像我之前所說的,他的確有優點,所以有人支持他是理所當然的。但是,他可能必須好好檢討自己的缺點。而如果你本人看到了我的這篇博文,請不要生氣。我并不是想故意針對你,但是你的行為讓我有點訝異。我希望你不要因為先前存在的偏見而毫無理智地加深對我的不好感。我也不是在強制你必須接受我給予的這些意見。我只希望,你若真的看到了,可以理智的去思考。如果覺得我講的有禮,那就吸收吧。如果覺得我在無理取鬧,那沒關係。

就這樣。


19 June 2011:

I am breaking my hiatus now.

Why I am breaking my hiatus:

1. I have had enough of not blogging; sometimes an idea hits me and I have to just swallow it down.
2. Like what number 1 described, I have had more ideas now, so I won't feel as miserable by thinking so much for ideas of what to blog about.
3. My readership has fell to a painful low. Everytime I check my stats now, the gradient probably has a value of 4 or 5, showing that my readership has dropped greatly. I know it's obvious that when you don't post anything for a while, it starts to drop, but I never expected it to be so fast ...

So from tomorrow onwards, there'll be posts coming in on a continous basis like described. I won't be changing my blog skin or anything, since I am quite happy with it still, and because I just changed it. Maybe in the time to come I will change my fonts or colours, but there'll be no major change. I still think this design is rather nice and sustainable. The code isn't too complicated unlike other blogskins out there.

I know ... I start to sound like I'm promoting my own blog skin now. Oh well. Wait for my posts! :)

TTFN.


14 June 2011:

(not breaking my hiatus yet.)

Just wanted to bring your attention to Singapore Blog Awards 2011. The voting period is now on, so do vote for your favourite bloggers (if any)!

Comparing my blog against theirs, it's almost comparing a tennis ball and the Sun. Kay, maybe my analogy isn't that good, but you get the picture ... right? Meaning: my blog is nothing compared to theirs.

*extremely xenophobic statement coming up* I am not planning to vote for any Malaysian's blog. Nothing against Malaysians (most of them), but there are some reasons behind it. Never mind, don't let that affect you if you're voting.

And I am not voting for Ris Low as well. Don't ask me why; just go read her blog. Or if you read it and disagree, oh well, it's your choice.

I am not going to vote (I know it's very contradicting with the earlier part of my post; this post was completed while reading a lot of blogs), since it requires me to register with my NRIC. So yeah, if you don't mind, then go ahead and vote!

But personally, I'll be voting for:

TypicalBen @ http://typicalben.blogspot.com/ (Best Individual Blog)
Luke Phang @ http://lukeyishandsome.com/ (Best WTH Blog)
Fong Yee Leong @ http://yiliang-room.blogspot.com/ (Best Photography Blog)
Jing Wei @ http://sketchy-lines.blogspot.com/ (Best Y Bloggist)

I either did not find anyone to vote for the other categories, or I simply did not bother to check the other categories. Before I leave, some finalist bloggers are really despo for the award. They do things out of the ordinary just in hope to gain votes. If it were me, I would not vote for such a blogger, since it's as if he just blogs to win the award. It is an attractive trip to Melbourne, but ... must some people really do that? Oh, and other blogs came across as being "dissident". Just my thoughts, that's all.

TTFN.


13 June 2011:

This sucks but.


沒有爲什麽。今天在學校時,突然想到,是時候小休息。雖然這不是一份真正的工作,但是自己還是對這份任務有些歸屬感。

這是一次無限期的闕文。我自己也不知道幾時會「回來」。可能,會拖到年底,又或者我一開學就有話說,想發表看法了。

在這期間,我想好好學習俄文(也就是爲什麽「闕文」後面接著俄文的相同詞語)。只是憑著一股衝動,本來只是想解讀歷史課程當中接觸的文案的俄文。(O水準的歷史配對課程當中,有一部份的俄羅斯的個案研究。)

也像把我的太極拳、太極劍搞好。今天是比賽后第一次見到太極教練;我們的程度都大大下滑了。我覺得自己的程度下滑地最明顯,現在的控腿久了都不能過腰。這樣下去怎麼行?

而且,我想搞好我的華文。我挺怕自己的O水準華文考試不能拿A1。提到這點,我就非常擔心。該怎麼辦呢?

對於JL,……我愛你。

就這樣。


11 June 2011:

Ever since I returned from camp, I've been having really weird dreams.

I returned from Tanjung Piai at Johor on 6 June, which was a Monday. Monday night was alright for me, but Tuesday night, Wednesday night, Thursday night, and Friday night was all filled with weird dreams for me.

Tuesday night: I was at Orchard area when I saw crew filming a scene there. I exchanged eye contact with one of the producers. Suddenly, I was at another area, and the crew was there again! And, once again I looked at the producer and she looked back at me. Finally, I was in a building when I met her. This time, she was without other crew, there was no filming. She walked up to me and asked me if I wanted to act in a movie. The next thing I was doing was filling up the application form. The assistant producer called and I heard her saying something like me not needing to go for auditions while others needed.

According to dreammoods.com, my dream would either mean:

1. My hard work and labour will be worth it in the end.
2. I have a strong desire of being acknowledged and recognised.
3. I may be putting up an act or facade.


Wednesday night: I was at home this time. The maid had already arrived. [Note: in real life, the maid was to arrive on Thursday, and I was not fully aware of it previously.] My fridge was filled with lots of my favourite snacks. In the freezer compartment, there was Häagen-Dazs Cookies & Cream Ice Cream filled in the WHOLE compartment. In the main compartment, the WHOLE compartment was filled with Danish Butter Cookies. (I just had them before typing this post.) And in the Vegetable compartment, the WHOLE compartment was filled with Fuji apples! My maid was serving the snacks to me non-stop, while I lay on the sofa reading newspapers. (Yes, I know this makes me sound like a 大少爺, but I never have gotten my maid to do that!)


This time, my dream could be a combination of:

1. Me relying too much on other people's help. (maid)
2. I may be harmonious, in pleasure, and fertile (?!). (apple)
3. I let trivial problems and minor disputes annoy me. (cookies)
4. I have cold emotions, or need to put some plans on hold. (fridge)

Thursday night: My dream on Thursday night was most morbid one. In my dream, I was at Tanjung Piai, but I was at a part where it was rocky and I was facing the sea. The scenes was alternating between an office layout, and that. The main part of my dream: I killed someone. I was kicking an adult on the neck, while there were others camp participants watching me. Most kicks landed on the face, but one kick went to his neck, and I burst his jugular furrow. (The nerd in me immediately thought of that even within my dream.) Blood began gushing out from a thin wound in his neck. I was back in the office again. I was worried that I left a lot of evidence there, and knowing forensics, I could guess how the police could figure out the murderer was me. I even thought of how pitifully I would own up if I was caught.

Interpretations of my dream:

1. I am on the verge of losing my temper and self-control. (killing)
2. I need to move on, and possibly have a long-deserved break. (camp)

Friday night: I was with my crush [not the one mentioned in the June 9 post]. She left her friends for me. She put her shoulder around me, and we were walking on the fourth floor of our school, where there were the science labs. In my dream, I remember feeling very happy, but somehow something told me we were not a couple yet.

///

I did not search for the interpretation of this dream. I don't dare search for it. When I woke up, I felt very lost. I felt as if it was a breakup. Right now, in real life, I am probably just someone she meets in school everyday. I am probably yet another guy that is no where close to her. I tried talking to her, I tried initiating conversation, the conversations were short-lived. Why must it be so ...? She is really the one person I have liked since Sec 1. It's been two years already.

When I told people that I do not like her anymore (in late last year), someone said "How could it be? That means you never really liked her." I guess that person was right. It was not that I never really liked her. It was that I had liked her all this while. I was bluffing myself when I said I did not like her last time. I tried hard not to think of her, but it proved too difficult.

[insert your own emo love song lyric here]

The possibility of me and her together is 0.01. Firstly because I am too cowardly to proceed. Secondly because she just doesn't like me. People always say "you must make her like you then". How?

TTFN.


10 June 2011:

今天還算蠻開心的。

拋開昨天那煩人事兒,今天有事兒值得開心。我的女傭終於來了。知道……自己蠻受寵的,這麼大了還需女傭來照料,不過真的有個女傭真的讓整個家都變得「豁然開朗」起來!

之前女傭介紹所因為來不及辦妥一些事項,所以撒了謊騙了我們說菲律賓那邊是除了一些事。幸好,最終,女傭還是來了。

對於這個女傭,我真的沒話說。是褒義的沒話說。她做事勤快,且非常認真。雖然可能說是頭一天兩天的良好表現,但我真的希望她是真的這樣用功。

今天,她就把整個家全抹地干干淨淨,連一些比較難抹的地方都毫無灰塵。真的非常開心!哈哈。她也非常貼心,把我匆忙留在床上的衣服折得好好地。

真的。非常的開心。明天就是星期六了。我又要去物理補習。我決定帶我的物理功課去做,希望能把它做完。補習中心給的資料真的是少之又少。而且,有些還是一些被移除到A水準的內容!雖然我偷偷地再看關於核物理(在幾年前被認定太難,被推到A水準),但是在其他部份因為課程的不同,使用的概念也不一樣。

有點類似在那裡學一套,在學校又學一套。導致我糊裡糊塗的。我知道我應該早就退出了,可是第一、我的物理是三個科學中最爛的,第二、在外面,很難找到好的物理補習。(讀者如果有好康,介紹下,謝。)

所以我還得撐到至少第三學段!哎呀算了。希望我的第三學段的成績能突飛猛進,然後一下子取消所有補習!已經強烈的拒絕其他的補習了,只剩物理和高級數學。目前高級數學算是不錯了,可能之後可以取消了。看看第三學段學了三角函數會怎樣吧。

就這樣。


9 June 2011:

It's times like this where I wanna call someone 'crazy bitch'.

A little bit of background. I had a girlfriend once. Her full name I shall not say. Her Facebook profile: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000298175064. We were together for a while. I must admit: I went into the relationship on a "try it out" mentality. After a while, I realised that my real interest was someone else, and I began to not be as caring as I was.

Then, the relationship ended. It ended when she removed me from her main account. I was no longer a 'friend'. I noticed it when she posted on her other account. At that time, she had three accounts. Presently, I do not know.

After that, communication was cut for a while. I did not say anything, for I wanted the matter to be kept quiet and "low-profile". Following this, I started to hear things that suggested that I was the one who initiated the break-up. Guess what, if I'm not wrong, these rumours started from her!

Now, some people, basing on her one-sided account, are blaming me for not treating her well and for dumping her. I do agree that I "neglected" her at the late part of the relationship, but I was never the one that "dumped" her. At worst, I wanted to ask for a peaceful, mutual spilt.

That was not the end, by the way. I started hearing other things. (Back to the past a little.) Strictly speaking, she was the person that asked me for a relationship. I agreed then (which was one mistake I should never have made). After the break, I started hearing things like I was actually a replacement, since she lost her previous boyfriend.

I have never clarified anything with her, so I'm not totally sure. However, being one party, I would assume that it was yet another thing started by her, that she would "console" herself about this break-up.

Shortly after she initiated the break-up by deleting me, she messaged me through Facebook, asking if we could still be friends. I figured - since what I wanted was after all a peaceful break-up - why not? We could just be back to friends, at least on the social network it was the case.

As time passed, I discovered: she probably was just using it to stalk me. I know she reads this blog of mine too. She used to follow me on Formspring. I blocked her shortly after. Partly, I was angry at the abrupt treatment; partly, I was freaked out by what she did.

[I am choosing not to reveal what happened on Formspring. I shall leave it for next time, if need be. It's rather mean to dig so deep, so I'm stopping at surface level.]

This is her Formspring: http://www.formspring.me/PokeyyBearr. She follows an account that frequently asks questions, so she'll receive a lot of questions. Among them: http://www.formspring.me/PokeyyBearr/q/201889369986988870. It is quite evident that she has not "let go". She is still stalking me. The most "shameless" one: http://www.formspring.me/PokeyyBearr/q/203051388278699643. I think it's quite clear she was referring to me, since her subject has not changed. So from this fact, I would like to say that no, I do not like her anymore.

On 9 June 2011 (being today), at 1910 hours, she sent me a message. In full, with no changes whatsoever:

I love you :/

At 1931 hours, I replied:

Uh k.

I do realise that it may sound very mean, but I do not want her to think that I still have a thing for her. A while later, she posted on her Facebook something about her not forgiving me. (Although the subject was not clearly listed, I could assume that safely, which I shall talk about next.)

Ever since then, she has been posting statuses that all indirectly refer to me. She does not explicitly list my name, but from the content, I can tell. Many a time, I have beared with it, just ignoring it. In a way, since she did not specifically mention me, I can ignore it.

Anyway, back to the point, she blocked me thereafter. Hence, I am unable to provide specific posts as examples. But I hope that is enough examples.

In summary: 1. I do not have anymore feelings for her anymore. 2. She needs to stop thinking that I still like her and move on. 3. She needs to stop stalking me, and whoever else she does stalk, if she does.

I'm not posting all this just to flame her, after having some bad rumours aimed at me. I just want all the nonsense to stop. I have voluntarily admitted that I made mistakes. So I hope that maybe she would do the same as well, instead of acting very pitiful in front of her friends. I understand that it's probably very saddening for anyone, but maybe one could stick to facts only?

Having said all that, I must say: maybe some of my methods, some things that I did were too much. Maybe I should not have gone so far. Maybe I still do have some biasness in my posts, even though I'm trying to be as objective as possible. Anyone may clarify with me. I'd be glad to change anything if it's true, since I do not want to be accused of spreading untruths about her as well.

Back to my title ... Yes, for once, I have felt so angry, I would really like to give her that phrase. I know, it is very unpleasant, but I really do not care about this. I feel that she is seriously a little overboard already. I have voluntarily stopped anything after that, why can't she? Plus the little "drama" that occurred during dinnertime just now, it seriously should stop immediately.

By the way, I think it's really true:
Once you start to dislike someone, everything they do begins to annoy you.


6 June 2011:

And so I am back from SL Camp 2011

[The previous two posts are scheduled posts I did after the camp, so don't be surprised if you see that I could talk about things that happened after the post date.]

So on Friday, we set off from school to Tanjung Piai. There was a massive jam at the Causeway, which led to the bus moving less than 1m every 15 minutes for a stretch of road.

Finally we reached Tanjung Piai, with our schedule being delayed for about an hour. At around 1230, we got off. The sight was very, very nice.

After being allocated to a bunk, and after having lunch, we had our ice breakers with Transformers. We were spilt into two groups of six people, and we were supposed to "transform" ourselves into whatever object the other object the group told us to be.

Then it was our first theory session, with Mrs L covering the inconsistency in student leadership. Which I am guilty of it too. Like what she said, some leaders - or to be specific, some councillors - have two "sides". To the rest of the school, they are good councillors, doing their jobs dutifully. Within their friends, they scold vulgarities, and break some minor school rules. Would that really constitute a leader? Although the contrast between my two sides aren't that great, but now, I still feel bad for having this consistency. It's not to say that every leader has to remain very stern and firm with their friends, but there should still be a boundary.

In many cases, the boundary has been diluted.

Then after the theory session, we went on to set our goals for the camp. I must admit - I have forgotten our goals already. But I should think we did achieve most of it.

One other goal that we had to set was our CCA. Mine being Wushu, I went with B and discussed. Right from the start where Mrs L told us to set goals for our CCAs, I immediately thought of what Wushu needed. Wushu needs to have a batch of leaders that can maintain the passion and discipline within the team. Other CCAs talked about getting medals; I am not discrediting or putting down these goals, but I feel that with the right goal, winning these awards should be imminent.

Fast forward to after dinner and we had our night walk. Our night walk was generally alright, with no major issue. We walked for about an hour in (almost) darkness. Thankfully there was the stars and other lights along the way. In Singapore, almost no one bothers to look at the stars and enjoy it. We are all too busy with our hectic lifestyle. So this break from such a routine was really very appreciated by me, at least.

Besides reflection sessions, that was the end of Day1. Summary: I contributed almost nothing, I must say that. Which I am really guilty now, since more was expected of me.

Side note about the toilets. Although I came with the mental preparation that it is definitely not going to be as good as Singapore's, I was still slightly shocked at the condition. Then I realised it was our dorm's toilet that was la merde. One cubicle had no light and could not flush. Another cubicle had not light as well. The remaining three either had bare conditions, or had a shower head that trickled water.

Day2! We started with Wet N Wild, which had three stations. Our group (and other groups) only completed two, since there was not enough time. I particularly remembered one where there were floating wood platforms on the stream of water. We had to cross it fast enough or the platforms would sink and we would get wet. I went and ran past ... and still got wet. Which was very sad ... The ropes connecting two platforms near the end had spilt. So when I stepped hard (running), the platform went down under my weight. Luckily, I was only wet at the pants area, and a bit of the stomach.

Other people in my group were even more wet, with one of them getting their shoes stuck in the mud!! Hehe :) Won't say who, but come to think of it, I was one of the driest! :D Next we had sampan rowing, which was an okay experience. We tried to have a race with two other sampans, but it was inconclusive.

After dinner we also had our event planning, where two groups got together and discussed about Investiture. In the end, we had something like a debate, where both sides would "attack" each other. It started off quite well, but in the end both sides were talking with each other. In other words, everyone was talking and no one was listening. Many a time someone had to stop the discussion and revert it back to the speaker prior to the break. I wonder ... do they do that in Parliament too?

And that brings Day2 to a close. At least on Day2, I felt that I was improving in leading myself and others. Now, moving on to Day3.

Day3 started with a theory session. It was nice as usual, besides slightly enduring some off-colour jokes~ A lot of people think that theory lessons on leadership are boring and useless, and always pretend to be attentive during the lessons. Such unappreciative hypocrites ...

Then we had paintball. Paintball was not exactly fun for me, since I got injured in the middle finger and near my right wrist. Oh well, who else can I blame but me, for being so blur for failing to realise a gun was pointing at me ...

Highlight for the day (and camp) was Gala Night!! I feel that our group put up a nice performance, although in the end we did not win. But winning's not everything, so yeah it's alright~

Gala Night was really crazy. Especially remembered the "Jack and Rose" scene by J and D. Hahah, R(A) scene man. We did Rock You cheer so many times I bet every single word is deeply etched into everyone's mind!

Then came Day4. It was already the last day of camp. We had our final theory on encouraging the heart and then it was closing ceremony. ): Sad to leave Nina and the other trainers, and the whole area. We were back in CCHMS at around 1300. Had a short briefing by VP, and then we could leave. Went to eat Macs with lotsa people.

So ends my uber long post. TTFN.


5 June 2011:

How would I rate myself?

During the camp, there were many activites and challenges to be completed. And it made me think about myself. Think very hard about me, and how I influence others.

There was a round of giving either thank-you cards or sorry cards to anyone on the last day. I was not surprised by the number of cards I received. I expected the result even before I started giving the cards.

And I must say, I deserved it. I am in no position to say it was unfair, since I fully knew that with whatever I am doing, I do not deserve any cards.

During the camp, I really did not give my fullest. As a councillor who attended at least 2 other leadership camps prior to this, I was expected to be already equipped with the leadership qualities on the first day. Yet, what did I do? I stuck in my comfort zone, and stayed that way until near day end. Now when I think of it, why did I do such a thing?

I do not know myself. All I can think of is that I am the kind of person you would call 慢熱型. Meaning, I am the kind who get active very late (or something like that). But, as a leader, this shouldn't be the case anymore. I should be the one who is "igniting" these 慢熱 people. I really should solve this psychological issue.

Besides this 慢熱 issue, I also realised on the last night during reflection that I did not contribute much to the group. I really don't have any explanation or excuse to give for this one, which is why I am so guilty right now. It was explicitly stated that this was a leadership camp, yet my performance and behaviour was definitely not one that would suit such a camp. I wouldn't say that I totally slacked, but I knew for myself that I definitely did not contribute much.

Which brings me to the 3rd night of reflection. We were supposed to rate how much we contributed. I rated myself too highly, in retrospect. I suppose this was self-pride acting up at that moment. I really should have adjusted it, although it may not matter now. I wonder how N thought of my self-rating. I am not worried that she would give me a negative evaluation, since this was not what I set out for: a glossy evaluation. What I wanted after the camp was that I could learn something, and influence or change others for the better.

I did achieve the first objective, especially through the lecture sessions during the camp. What about the second objective? Hmm, I cannot give an affirmative.


4 June 2011:

My style of leadership.

During the camp, there was this incident. I shalt not spell out the incident. This incident, or rather the thoughts I had thereafter, made me set out to think of my style of leadership. Everyone has their own style, even Mr G said so during the short speech he made after the end of the camp.

When I lead, of course, I would expect that my team and I would achieve the best results. Here is where the negative side of my leadership kicks in: I am prepared to "fire" anyone that does not achieve what is expected.

Immediately, I suppose, this would be interpreted as being very bossy and fussy. While I have no comments on the bossy part, I must agree that I am very fussy when it comes to selecting members. No doubt, most of the time, we are not allowed to choose who we get to work with. If not, many of us would just stick to their safety zones. However, in a way, you can say that I am selfish to a certain extent, picking the best members and leaving the rest for others.

And, I am very straight-forward, without much consideration of people's feelings. A lot of people have said that I am very mean; yes I am aware of it. This would entail a "Well, why aren't you changing?" I do not have an answer for that at the moment, maybe I will have it soon.

When I think all these through, it seems as if my style of leadership is like Lee Kwan Yew. Of course, this is not to say that I am as talented and capable as him. No doubt, I am nowhere near to his achievements. But, of course, I would still give what I have, especially for this investiture.

For the investiture, I would be co-leading the Logistics comm. I changed from I/C to 2I/C, since I forecasted some troubles in handling the group with such leadership styles. Hence, I would still be leading people, but not fully. Our proposal (as a group) needs to be done by 11 June; I hope nothing goes majorly wrong from now till then.


1 June 2011:

The thing about Macs and KFC.

Yesterday, I went to eat MacDonalds. Today, I went to eat KFC. First, here's what I had at Macs.


Filet O Fish McValue Meal. With one Filet O Fish burger (duh), one packet of fries, and Coke. $4.50.

And here's what I had at KFC.


Ultimate Value Box. With one Shrooms Burger, one mashed potato, one chicken drumstick, and Pepsi (or whatever drink that was anyway). $5.70.

I think I'll be avoiding KFC in a while. Why?

1. Service attitude. Maybe you could say that just so happens, the crew that served me at KFC were less than acceptable as comparted to the crew at Macs. At both places, there was a large group of students, who were having a meal before heading home, I guess. The scenario was about the same: almost no seat to sit, very long queues, and a noisy environment. Not that I blame them for all these. But the person who served me at KFC was almost talking to herself!

She went about her nth routine, asking "What would you like to have, sir?", following with whatever necessary. But the way she did it was almost - like what I said - as if talking to herself. It was not about the volume, but the attitude. She was very nonchalant about it, mumbling on and on from whatever response that her brain deemed fit. It was serioiusly as if she was slurring or something.

Would you compare that to the guy that served me at Macs. He was energetic (or at least looked like it), and sincere. He was rushing through my order, but I certainly would accept the reason that there were 10 hungry schoolboys behind me. May I add: he was still able to complete the whole process smoothly and successfully.

Right. I also remembered something. I was told that the Shrooms burger in my meal, would not be ready for 3 minutes. (Note: The lady serving me did exactly say "3 minutes".) Fine, I thought, I'll just wait for it. I started having the rest of my meal, while waiting for my Shrooms burger to arrive. I waited ... and waited ... for 10 minutes. And, I nearly "lost" my Shrooms burger. The burger was placed on a tray together with "late-coming" cheese fries (and some other foods) belonging to the students, and they got an old lady to bring it to them. She placed all of it on their table. Thankfully, the students were honest enough, and told her that the extra Shrooms burger was not part of their order. Next, the old lady walked aimlessly around the place, wondering very hard who could the burger belong to. So I asked her, and took my Shrooms burger.

My point being that: (1) don't commit to 3 minutes, if it would take 10. If it were 5, I'm alright. But having to eat a burger after almost all of my meal was finished is certainly not nice. (2) Can't they at least have the old lady remember that the burger was not part of the fries and all? I'm not blaming the old lady; it wasn't her fault that the rest of the crew were so ambiguous in their instructions. One of them just briefly poked in the students' direction, telling her to send it there.

There was no such problem during MacDonalds. Granted, you could say that this is slightly unfair, since maybe the same problem could have happened if my order was delayed in MacDonalds. So I shall move on.

2. "Value". I seriously think the Ultimate Value Box is an irony crafted by KFC. How is it "value" when I can find something of a similar portion when compared to McValue Lunch? It's $1.20 more expensive, yet the amount of food is about the same. For once, I really feel cheated. I do agree that this is not hawker fare, and don't expect it to be as cheap as $3.50, but ... $5.70? I'd rather have MacDonalds for a two consecutive days than this.

This, coupled with abovementioned service experience, really make me want to just stick with Macs for a long time to go.

Which brings me to ... Two days ago, Joanne Peh was ranting on Twitter how her experience in Nandos Tanglin Mall left her appalled. Apparently, what made her most angry was the fact that the staff applauded themselves for treating her that way. Frankly speaking, I do not think Joanne Peh would be one that throws diva fits (as mentioned by one of her followers). So ... let's wait and see what's going to happen now.

I don't expect KFC to give me an official reply, if any. I'm just saying what I experienced. This is not one of those posts that bloggers like Xiaxue use to embarrass people or anything. (I still remember the post she did about this guy who "undermines and insults [her] on Twitter"!)

TTFN.



aboutme.

From Singapore. 20 years of age. Blogs as and when inspiration comes, in British English (and Singlish), Traditional Chinese and (hopefully) Russian. Not a lifestyle blogger, expect posts to be serious, dull or even obscure. I enjoy comedy, in particular British humour.



interests.

[more or less in order] medicine | forensics | theatre | modern world history | typography (including style and grammar) | visual design | Taiji | Chinese language and literature | Mandarin pop (and singing) | Apple products.



typography.

PT Serif for main text and links. Ubuntu Condensed for dates, post titles and sidebar headings. Both fonts from Google Web Fonts.



credits.

singzeon. by Sing Zeon is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International Licence. Pictures used here either come from my Instagram (instagram.com/singzeon) or Google image search. For the latter, I do not own those pictures.



quote.

Hard to love. 認真你就輸了。