singzeon.



21 April 2014:

對不起,我太弱小了。

我知道我雖然是男的,不過比其他男生來得弱。搬不動太多東西,不能抬別人。但是我嘗試。我真的嘗試,儘管感覺手臂很酸。當人們開始取笑時,我可以跟著笑:自嘲也是一種解壓的方式。但當這種取笑持續,這對我來說算是欺凌了。

笑話沒了笑點、沒了幽默就不是笑話了。我知道我弱,所以我不停地到處幫忙。能幫的我就幫,真的沒辦法的只好叫別人。我真的不明白為何我幫到的其他東西都被忽略了,唯獨我搬不動、抬不動的就被放大來講。

我有努力啊。我知道我弱,所以我最近也開始做俯臥撐等等手臂運動。可是這種運動不是一下子就能有效;我不可能立馬變強壯的吧。其他男的手臂粗壯我知道,我也羡慕。但我能怎樣?於是,我只好找其他方面來幫忙。

可是如果人們還是一直要注重我弱的這點來講,我也無能為力。我真的有盡力幫忙。所以我也不知道還該做些什麽。也許我太敏感了,禁不起一些「玩笑」。我真希望是那樣,只是我太在意罷了。

就這樣。


20 April 2014:

別來無恙?

I realised that I have not been updating this space for more than a month now, apart from the most recent post 'Introduction to quantum mechanics'. And within this period of time, many things have happened.

1. MCT results
Let's just say that this result was a surprise for me. For all subjects, I performed much better than expected for all subjects except history. However, this still isn't cause for celebration. It's better to be cautious than complacent.

One reason why I scored so well was probably because for chemistry and maths (and a little of bio) the topics tested were my strong ones. Therefore I would do better than usual. Sadly, that isn't the full scope of A Levels, which also means I am not that fantastic.

Another reason would be that others may still be recovering from OGL or CCA competitions. Their standards dropped but would be up again by the next exam. Which is why, I'm expecting a huge drop for my JCT results.

This is especially true if I don't study for JCTs. It comes after three weeks of June holidays. Most people would use the time to study. I would pledge to study but most likely break it. As you can tell, I have very bad self-discipline.

The same happened for MCT. I didn't study throughout most of the March holidays, only till one or two days before each paper (except for bio) did I panic and study. And actually, I 'studied' by frantically copying stuff from notes.

Please don't misunderstand: I'm not trying to indirectly boast that I could get above-average results without studying much / more than others. It is a behaviour that I am not proud of and shouldn't be linked to my results as there are other factors affecting it, such as the aforementioned two.

Conclusion: I really should buck up and study, right? Actually, I say this every time. If one were to prowl through the archives, you'd probably find this phrase (and its variants) all over various posts.

But anyway, as I tell myself now, if I continue to not study for JCTs, I'll just receive the effects of it. People who have been diligently studying and who have recovered from whatever they have would again rise over me.

2. SYF preparations
My previous post in March was about this too. From then till now, many things have changed, mainly for the better. Things are finally looking better now. Previously, I was honestly worried that we wouldn't pull through.

The set has finally arrived, after being late for more than a week or so. Which also meant that blocking was delayed for that amount of time, since blocking depends on the set. But now that it's here, we finally settled blocking!

Currently, we're focused on doing runs, runs and more runs. Which means we perfect the piece to perfection. On Saturday we had a long session where we did four runs. I finally felt the sense of the play and how it should be.

SYF is in 10 days' time. It will be my final production in JC life, and that will mark the end of my journey in drama. I don't know what to think about that and I'm currently postponing my thoughts about it to the periphery.

TTFN.

Actually I also wanted to talk about my spiritual views. But since religion is such a sensitive topic and I'm prone to shooting my mouth off, I've decided against it. Some of the things I say may be blunt and offensive, no matter how well-meaning I am. So I'd rather not go there.


16 April 2014:

Introduction to quantum mechanics.

Amidst all the business, a few days ago I got hooked onto quantum mechanics. Although I've never exactly loved physics, quantum mechanics was intrigued me a great deal.

But no, I will not continue by elaborating on quantum mechanics in case I bore anyone reading this. I will, however, mention a thought experiement in quantum mechanics: Schrodinger's cat.

It is a thought experiment because no one has carried it out before (thankfully); and in fact I don't think it can be successfully carried out. Basically, the experiment proves that something can be dead and alive at the same time.

Sounds crazy? Pretty much all of quantum mechanics and 'modern' physics is, actually. One has to accept that the fundamental Newtonian laws and all are inadequate to appreciate how mad 'modern' physics can be.

The 'results' of the thought experiment can be linked to various other things in real life too, actually. This experiment (indirectly) shows that certain things aren't merely black or white, they may have a superposition of an in-between state.

Therefore, it'll do no one any good to adopt such a mentality that things are either X or Y, no in-between. Fact is, many things aren't like that in reality. Even in history we learn that a conflict arose due to various factors all contributing to an outbreak.

~

If now isn't crunch time, when is?

TTFN.


aboutme.

From Singapore. 17 years of age. Blogs as and when inspiration comes, in British English, Traditional Chinese and (hopefully) Russian. Interests (more or less in order): forensics, theatre, Taiji, modern world history, typography (including style and grammar), visual design, Chinese language and literature, singing, sociology, United Kingdom, Apple products.


typography.

PT Serif for main text and links. Ubuntu Condensed for dates, post titles and sidebar headings. Both fonts from Google Web Fonts.

lasttime.

start of time < March 2010 < April 2010 < May 2010 < June 2010 < July 2010 < August 2010 < September 2010 < October 2010 < November 2010 < December 2010 < January 2011 < February 2011 < March 2011 < April 2011 < May 2011 < June 2011 < July 2011 < August 2011 < September 2011 < October 2011 < November 2011 < December 2011 < January 2012 < February 2012 < March 2012 < April 2012 < May 2012 < June 2012 < July 2012 < August 2012 < September 2012 < October 2012 < November 2012 < December 2012 < January 2013 < March 2013 < April 2013 < May 2013 < June 2013 < July 2013 < August 2013 < September 2013 < October 2013 < November 2013 < December 2013 < January 2014 < February 2014 < March 2014 < April 2014

Pictures used here either come from my Instagram (instagram.com/singzeon) or Google image search. For the latter, I do not own those pictures.
總有一天,我一定要寫出一個劇本。