singzeon.

30 September 2011:

Today is Friday, the last day of lessons.

But that's actually fake when you're from Upper Secondary. There are still lessons after the exams, and almost every day ends at around 1600 hrs.

Of course, I don't hate these lessons. As a cohort we voted that we would have no extension lessons, but our school hours would be extended after exams. So it's a fair deal.

Mr. S is a really dedicated level master. I'm sure everyone can attest to that. He would print comics and caption them with words of encouragement, or sometimes slight threats of what will happen if we do not meet this round.

So far, he is the first level master I've seen doing such things for us. Although he frequently makes us stay back after FRC to speak to us, at least it's because he is often worried for us. (Of course I have to admit sometimes it's a little long and draggy ...)

The exams start next week. "EOY" trended previously on Twitter for a while; I wonder why it disappeared now? Anyway, this would probably be the last post before the exams. I am planning a strict revision regimen for the weekend, and I hope to stick to it.

Previous plans and timetables were always ruined due to the very bad habit of mine named procrastination. And maybe you could consider laziness as another factor. This time, the weekend before exams, I really want to stick to it.

Good luck to everyone having their exams next week! And of course, good luck to me too. :)

TTFN.

People of mediocre ability sometimes achieve outstanding success because they don't know when to quit. Most men succeed because they are determined to.

— George E. Allen

28 September 2011:

I don't know why the week's such an arse.

Technically, it's probably only half a week, so I can't say accurately that it'll remain this way.

But so far for the three days, it has been so. Today there was English oral. I do not want to talk about it. It was probably the most unsatisfactory and unhappy oral experience I have ever had. Mostly not because of the teacher, but because of the incidents that happened before and after the oral.

What got my goat the most was probably this saying about

21st century guys are all like that!

(It was paraphrased, with the original meaning still there.) What do you mean by that? Define 'like that', if you may. I find that when a conflict arises, it's probably best not to use irrational statements to only incite emotions.

A conflict, when broke out, should be settled swiftly. Such statements would only serve as a deterrent towards a resolution between both parties. What I would consider worse would be that the person who actually said that, had no business in the conflict. From the start, this conflict was actually a small one, and one that could be easily settled.

It could be my being too petty on such matters, but I find that there is simply no reason to make such a statement.

Also, it was a generalisation. I may be the worst of my species, but there was certainly no need for anyone to put people down.

I am deeply saddened by the state of events that have happened, and pledge to reduce my efforts of resolution. Unless sincere actions are taken to amend the current fracture, which has no doubt heightened tensions amongst previously close relations.

Hint: It's PMS week for me. That's only being used as a metaphor, by the way. 

26 September 2011:

I feel like Obama, asking for more time.

The above was an euphemism, though. If it were stripped of metaphors, it'd probably be something like "My life is screwed and I suck." Because I don't want to sound like some depressive person who rants from the first line, I've made this title slightly positive and humorous.

It's Monday today, and I already have a few things screwed up! Not exactly the optimistic outlook I promised myself to search for everyday, but I have a feeling it may just get worse. Exams are next week, and I am not prepared for it. I did some revision previously, but that is probably 九牛一毛 when you compare it to the amount of things being tested for the exams.

Oral is on Wednesday; it is sort of the first "paper" of the exams. I hope I do it well and can at least assure a certain percentage of my English grades. I seriously do not want to fail any subjects. Of course, the ideal would be to get at least B3 for all subjects (L1R5: 18). This would sound like an excuse, but I'm happy for at least a B3 for all subjects (k maybe except Chinese; I nida get an A1) since the school is setting all it's papers to kick-arse difficulty.

I genuinely worry for my History and Social Studies. Since (1) it is my only Humanities subject; (2) I suck at explanation, which is such a pity since I could have gotten marks for a full PEE process if not for that; and (3) I feel that I put in a lot of effort for it, or at least for History.

I may be over-generalising, but I seem to be the only one that really likes History. Others I know simply take it because it was the only thing to do if they wanted that particular subject combination (it became a trade-off), or because they are so ace at explaining factors, so they take it simply to score well. Either way, their "passion" for History is but a superficial one. But of course, none sucks more than me: the one that likes History till an almost fanatic stage, yet gets one of the lowest. It's almost a paradox on its own.

Today I talked to MY, an ex-classmate. His Social Studies seemed rather alright, since he was able to pass that bloody Mid-Year paper. He told me:

Treat the markers like idiots; explain every single step to them.

Well, the Achilees' heel of my explanations is that I always think that I have explained enough. However to the teacher, my explanations often have gaps or missing links. ):

Oh well, let's hope I can buck up this time. The worst thing is that for Humanities, it's tough buying topical assessment books, since they often jumble skills and topics together. So the first topic may be tested with the last skill, and I can't do such a question. :/

What to do ... Never mind. I shall end the post here; the following is a funny video. Let's hope it made you laugh a little, at least for a second or two. Then you can get back to your equally hectic and mundane life like me.

24 September 2011:

我為什麽不經常寫文章的原因。

剛才，我讀了一篇博文，當中列出使其博客增值的10大要素。其中一條，別因為沒有定期發表博文而感到有負擔。

我絲毫沒有負擔。

哎呀，我應該切回原題了。我不經常寫文章並不是因為我以上的原因，而是因為我有太多的事情不敢寫在這裡。我的博客屬於開放式，所以任何內容，無論多久以前發表的，日後都能重新索取。

我的內心非常亂，可又不敢像別人那樣，大大咧咧的在自己的博客上氾濫感情。

而且，我也不希望人們讀到的，淨是我洩氣的一堆話。我想，無論我的正文多悶，也比讀寫氣話來的有趣多了。

我的博客雖然並不是到處聞名，不過偶爾是小有熱鬧的。我不想讓人家覺得這又是一個讓主人盡情咆哮的地方。於是乎，有些事情我所在心房。

鑰匙深深的烙印在腦子里，所以應該誰都取不出吧。

去年還在修讀文學時，其中有個文本就有這麼一句話：

Things are rough all over. 

沒錯。誰都有他／她的心事。即使如Ａ友般活潑開朗的人，必定也有一些瑣事。這也就是爲什麽，我也不敢隨隨便便給人家我的心房鑰匙。

我怕給了他們，會加重他們自己的負擔。依我來看，咱們心事自己顧。當然精神病患者除外。

23 September 2011:

This week feels like a cosine graph to me.

For nerds out there, the equation was y = 2cosx - 1, 0 ≤ x ≤ π.

Which reminds me: the A Math test. According to other people, the A Math test was very hard. I disagree: the E Math test was the real hidden killer. The angles were so hard to find, it gave everyone headaches just trying to properly identify exactly which angle is required.

There was also a Chemistry test, which I could not finish my paper on time. ): Well, I hope I pass though. I followed the required statements that Mrs. S taught, so I presume that it would be all correct. And then there was Bio test. It was the easiest test for the week, and probably the easiest test since the start of the year. Having said that, I might not get a very high mark, since teachers would have a stricter mark scheme to "compensate" for the easiness.

Took a rough calculation of my Physics CA grade today, when Mr. L showed previous test results. The highest I could get was a B4. I can't say I'm not sad about it, but I was not really affected by it since I had expected such a result. Physics was always the lousiest Science since primary school. (Technically, in primary school there was only one subject "Science", but when I recounted the sort of questions I did worst in, it was those on Heat and Electricity, the classic Physics ones).

Anyways. I really hope that my Biology and Chemistry grades would be higher. Else, it would probably just mean that I am a Triple Science interloper. ): And that sucks, cos if I have to drop Physics, I'll be the only 7 subject-er in my cohort.

(Enough of depressing thoughts.) K, now onto a rant. Dear S, YOU ARE SUCH AN ARSE. If I could earn a dollar for every single word that I use to scold you in my mind, I would be rich, and probably use this money to get you to leave me alone. I have despised people before, but never to such a standard. You're probably the first person that I really desire to unleash the F-bomb on you. (But then again, you'd probably retort weakly with a lame and childish excuse or comment about me.)

I don't guarantee that I am the least annoying person on this world, but S you have certainly proven that I am not the most annoying person either. People do talk behind your back about how you suck (I know this word is rather vague and rude, but nevertheless). I don't suppose you are oblivious to these comments ... unless of course you are too indulged in lame doings until you didn't realise it.

People have tried to help you, even though they had nothing to gain from it. But you were so unresponsive, until I suppose that person has given it up, or at least took a rest. I don't think you intend to change your behaviours, so that shall be it. I probably shall try to avoid you from now on ...

Oh and by the way. People keep saying that the way to change Facebook's newest fail ticker timeline is to change the language to English (UK). That's not true! In fact, I had that ticker a long, long time ago, just that it vanished after a few days. (Yes, I am using British English for Facebook.) So, it probably tried out briefly in Eng (UK), then debuted it on Eng (US) platforms now.

Oh well. The reason that people are speculating as to why Facebook introduced new stuff was to beat competition from Google, which officially released Google+ this week. Well if that's the case, it totally backfired in my opinion. People complained so much, "Facebook Timeline" is a Trending Topic now on Twitter. I can imagine the people at Twitter secretly laughing behind their computers at San Francisco (or wherever their offices are at) about their rival's mega failure in improving interface.

... Alright, I have typed a great deal, and I should be back settling Mentorship stuffs. (If you find the layout too narrow, you could toggle it with the new "Widescreen layout" button. To brag, I created it by myself.

TTFN.

18 September 2011:

Tomorrow, the new Sec 1s are coming into SC.

And there is no reason for me to get excited. Sounds cynical and depressing? Hear me out.

I was present at the EXCO meeting where we discussed about this. I can't actually describe the process, but I can say that it is a very unfair process. And if I'm not wrong, it has been in place for a few years at least. This process, without doubt, breeds bias for some juniors. It is a no-brainer as to why that would happen once you knew what it was like. To maixmum ironic effect, TK told us not to be biased against any junior.

How do we achieve that with the kind of process there is in place? But, I don't blame TK. It's probably not her fault, or even of the Top 6, for having such a flawed system. No matter how you argue for it, this system will breed biasness.

Probably the most fatal flaw that Student Council has is that we are not bonded. I might sound like a cynical dissident about this, but yes, I strongly believe that we ain't bonded. The board has 6 sections (excluding Section 0). To be honest, I don't even know some Sec 2s from other sections, even though they have been in the board for almost a year.

The only time that we get together as a board is when there is full-board meetings. Yet, in full-board meetings, only the Top 6 addresses us, and that does nothing to help in the bonding process. Bonding. I find this word highly over-used within Student Council. Yes, we strive to achieve this, but have we ever been near it? No, our state of "bondedness" has been spoilt by prejudice and biasness that is ubiquitous within the board.

Yes, there are camps to, hopefully, bond with people from other sections. Most of the time, it is mandatory that people be grouped with others from other sections. The intention is clear and simple. Yet, the result might not be as expected. I suppose it's human nature: people do stick within their comfort zones. The best thing facilitators of the camps could do is to purposely arrange for people who don't know each other well to complete tasks together.

This is forced and unnatural. Personally, I don't see how this will work. While I don't deny some councillors getting to know each other through camps, I think all these camps just make close councillors closer, and the distance between some not as welcomed councillors will be dragged wider from bunches of councillors.

Within councillors, there are cliques. Or shall I say, coteries. Does that constitute being bonded? Absolutely not. B once said - and I totally agree - "A class is not bonded if there are cliques within it." (Although the context was in terms of a class environment, it works as well for Student Council.) I'm not against cliques, but they hinder being bonded. It is again human nature: people in a clique would stay closer to each other. Who would want to venture out of their comfort zone with their "besties" and talk to unfamiliar people?

A truly bonded Student Council would be one that is able to have cliques, yet these cliques overlap each other. Meaning, everyone is more or less thoroughly mixed within different groups, so at the end of the day, everyone really does talk to and interact with everyone else.

It seems that I may have drifted from being biased to not being bonded. Back to the former. Being biased is very present in North Korea⁺. People within it are affected. This has been present for at least 2 years. I wonder how many batches does it take to get rid of such a practice. It seriously breaks the links between section members. And also, no to purging⁺⁺.

I'm nearly not optimistic about the Sec 1s. I know who is coming into my section, and I already do not like one of them. I know this probably sounds very contradicting, since I advocated so much about being impartial towards juniors. In my defence, I will try to be as open-minded as possible in the time to come when dealing with juniors. I'll form my opinions of them at a later date.

TK and others have repeatedly told us to be more careful of what we say and what we do from now on, since the new Sec 1s are entering the board. While I understand the reason behind it - we want to show a good impression to the juniors, so that they will follow suit - I think of it almost as a pretence. Probably everyone does it. When there are guests, visitors, or someone of importance, our attitude changes and we become prim and proper. Colin Goh from the Sunday Times recounted how one father started talking to his son in perfect English when the latter saw the former in lawyer attire.

It's about the same thing. My point being: why do we perk up only when there are people coming? Is it to show that we value them? No, we can show that through different ways. This only shows that we are actually all aware that our behaviour is not all that perfect during this period. So now that the new Sec 1s are coming into the board, we are afraid they follow this behaviour, hence put on our best, and hope that they will follow this set of behaviour instead. Rather pathetic, eh?

And by pathetic, I mean that to everyone, including myself. I admit, I am such a person too. I admit that I have not done my best as a councillor throughout these years, and that I probably perform best only when there are newcomers to the board, like last year when the current Sec 2s entered, and tomorrow when new Sec 1s enter too. What we should actually be doing is to already meet tip-top standards, and continue to uphold that even after they have entered.

I'm sure the Sec 1s are not all that ignorant. I'm sure they would probably have spotted our mistakes, be it during duties or just in school during normal times. Word would easily spread from an observant new councillor about the "double standards" we have, and depending on how it is interpreted from there on, at worst it could be seen as, like I said, rather pathetic.

I do admit that, I too am powerless when it comes to solving all the above problems that I have talked about. I'm sure people within the board are more or less aware of these problems, since some are probably even victims of it. So far, there does not seem to be a clear-cut resolution to actually tackle all of these. I suppose, day-to-day runnings of the board are already tiring enough for everyone (I mean the EXCO here), so we generally not do much. Of course, I'm sure there are some who just prefer to close an eye.

Which makes me recall of one problem that we do face too. The actual reason why anyone comes into the board. I remember when I interviewed the Sec 1s previously, most of them wrote things like "I want to help my class, my teacher", etc. There was a "trick" question asking them if they would still be a councillor if they had no more points starting from their batch.

All of them said yes. Of course, who would have the guts to say no? They would probably find another reason to push off being a councillor if they are really selected, so as not to be perceived as a mercenary. Yet, there are some councillors who are in mostly for the points. From their attitude, it is evident that they do not enjoy or take pride in daily duties, they just do it because it is a trade-off for an advantage in points. I am in no position to judge people on how much leadership potential they have, but I can sense that some choose not to be a leader, rather than because of the lack of skills or experience.

The worst I heard was a said councillor telling juniors to get in because they are a lot of points. I won't want to pinpoint who that actually is, but that is by far the worse thing to say to a junior. It probably corrupts his mind, and from then on he will start to do things only if they are benefits.

Yes, you're probably saying that I am like a retard in this fast-paced world, where you'll get thrown off the social bandwagon if you don't have such traits like being mercenary. But, must all things be done this way? Student Council's purpose was to have a group of students helping to lead others. If everyone within the board does things because of the points, I can foresee our ratings fall to the point of sin(270).

That's all I have to say. It's such a depressing and cynical post, ain't it? Well, I'm just saying what I really feel. In all irony, tomorrow, I would be addressing the new councillors along with HL with a very positive message.

⁺ "North Korea" refers to a particular section within the board. If you have a rudimentary understanding of North Korea, I'm sure you can infer what this section is like.

⁺⁺ I suppose my target audience would surely understand this phrase, since the said audience takes History.

I am almost certain that our batch of EXCO is unable to create significant change enough for the board. I don't know how many batches it'll take.

17 September 2011:

What if I had an infinite amount of money?

My mum first asked my this question casually. But it led me thinking a lot. Yesterday while chatting with S, I was reminded of this. So here goes.

1. I'll open a centre of Forensics Research in Singapore. It will be the best in the world, and the largest in the world. It'll have 10 storeys, with Level 10 handling Forensic Pathology only. The world's most renowned forensic pathologists would flock here. Level 1 to 9 would handle other departments of Forensics, like Forensic Psychology. All major forensic cases in Singapore would be handled solely in this centre.

2. I'll open a Buddhist temple. I'll find a time to meditate there everyday, and have free meals everyday to anyone that comes to the temple.

3. I'll open a centre for Chinese Studies. A whole centre for the sole purpose of studying Chinese. Not the kind of degree at NUS or NTU, but a long-term course where members can drop in every week to study anything Chinese. Personal bias: I would only offer modern Chinese history, since I can't be bothered with the dynasties ages ago.

4. ... Sadly, I can't use these money to buy people happiness, or buy time. I'll have to work on that.

That's about it, 3 wishes I hope to accomplish. They arer 99% impossible, but not without chance. But I bet until I die, no one would be able to fulfil that fourth wish.

TTFN.

15 September 2011:

Ｊ友最近開始了一個「保持開心」的運動。

我覺得非常有趣。而且，在現今這個階段，我想大家都需要這股快樂留在身邊。

>要考試了。大家都開始認真起來，不敢怠慢，生怕錯過任何老師教過的點滴。我也開始每天留在學校溫習功課，或至少完成自己的作業。在家裡，我的電腦會「勾引」我，所以我不能在家裡溫書。

這個方法挺有效的。我曾經說過（或，至少想過）不會再向中一、二那樣懶惰了。當時，我拿著「某些科目——例如地理——是我極為討厭的」當成績差得藉口，也把它當做父母問話時的擋箭牌。

現在到了中三，我修讀的八個科目都是自己「批准」的，即我再也沒有理由排斥它。（除了物理……我是在衡量文學或物理的情況下才勉強選擇物理的，所以自己對物理也不是感到很大興趣）不過，其他的7科，都是我能夠接受的。

所以，我不斷告訴自己，這個藉口消失了，不能再說那些我不喜歡讀得科目因為得了爛成績，進而拉下我的總成績。今年的年終考試，我拿了全級第99名。我打出這個數字，不是想借機炫耀，而是想要顯示出，我想要維持99名或更高排名的壓力有多大。

有人說過，「我寧可不在任何考試中拿滿分」。我能夠認同這個說法。有時候，人們拿了滿分，會潛意識地驕傲起來。無論怎麼鞭策自己，我們還是會退步，以至於再下一個考試／測驗中取得非常大的退步。

這是一個不可避免的惡性循環吧，我想。於是說，這次的考試，我倍感壓力。相對的，父母並沒給予那麼多的壓力。可能是因為他們認為，我維持在99名周圍是理所當然的吧。正是這種「軟壓力」，比「硬壓力」來得更致命。

我真的不肯定自己能夠在這次考試中取得多麼好／壞得成績。我也非常害怕上述情況再次發生，我的成績又回到以前的低。到時候，父母肯定又是會「重播」他們的「忠言」：你肯定是上次幸運，才能取得如此好的成績。看，這回有變回原樣了，成績一樣地差。

我不想再聽到那些話了。可是，我又不是說不想聽就能夠馬上考個100分。我目前在努力。我只是不知道，我的這份努力到底有沒有充分的利用。我很怕，我把時間留到不重要的地方上，導致自己在成績冊時來個滿江紅。

>這跟保持快樂有什麽關係呢？其實，也沒有。我只想抒發自己不安的情緒，希望能夠快點看到橋頭。祝我順利吧，哈哈。

哦對了。不過，我還是要提倡大家繼續保持快樂。儘管天天都可能有很多的瑣事令你很心煩，不過還是要保持 net happiness。（如果你不知道的話，「net happiness」是我國榮譽國務資政吳作棟在五月大選時，想反駁「人們對政府越來越不滿」的說法所利用到的詞彙之一。）

好啦，我也累了。就用一個短片來結束此文章吧！

12 September 2011:

I hereby declare that this advertisement is crap.

In case you haven't seen it yet, this advertisement by London Weight Management has been playing on primetime advertising slots like 8pm - 9pm.

Why do I say that this advertisement is crap?

1. This advertisement was greatly exaggerated. I thought at first that this was an advertisement commisioned by some government body, since it has come up with a few fabulous ones like Family and Filial Piety previously. But no, this seemed a bit unusual for such an advertisement. Suddenly, it hit me. Smack in the face: it's just yet another advertisement saying that being fat is no good. You have successfully crushed how many people's hearts out there.

2. What was even more appalling was the way it misled people to think that after slimming down, the risk of getting heart disease was be reduced. That is a big no.


Heart disease is caused when there is accumulation of fats and cholesterol in arteries like the one above, the right coronary artery. That causes an excess pressure and restricted blood flow. How does slimming down help in reducing such occurrences?

Face it. If women (or men, for that matter) have been sending oily, deep fried foods into their system, it's a lie to think and hope that undergoing slimming would solve all these problems.

Can you imagine if after slimming, a woman suddenly gets heart disease or a heart attack? I wonder how cheated she would feel then.

The only way to stop or prevent heart disease and the like is to have a healthy diet, and exercise regularly. Indulge in such food from time to time, but not having it as a staple.

3. This advertisement once again puts down women who are fat. It is almost saying "When I'm fat, I will get awful diseases and illnesses, my husband won't want me, I will lose my job" for every woman out there. Of course, there are heartless men and bosses, but that's definitely not the majority! And even if it were the majority, this advertisement just helps in increasing the amount of prejudice that fat women get!

People should just accept others for how they appear. Of course, I'm also not saying that morbidly obese people do nothing about their condition. They should do some exercise too. But the discrimination against fat people should stop. Especially towards fat women.

In history, 楊貴妃 was actually obese. Yet, in modern depictions of her, she is much, much slimmer than how she should look like. What's wrong with being obese? Some people are like that because it's hereditary, not that they want it!! So why are people despising fat people so much?

...

Okay, I might have drifted slightly out of point, since I was too eager in proving how the advertisement is crap. But anyways, you get the drift.

TTFN.

Oh wait, I must admit. Yes, I do make fun of one fat person. I'm not gonna list his initials even, since it's not very nice. But in my defense, that's cos he's an ass. Hahah, and of course, because he and I are good friends, so he knows half the time I don't mean it. But when I do, it's still because he's an ass. Yep, that's about it.

11 September 2011:

A random video recommendation.

This video is called This Week in Unnecessary Censorship, and it's regular show segment on the Jimmy Kemmel Show. It only shows in America at the midnight timeslot, which after watching this video, you would be able to understand why. I first came to know of this from Yes 933 DJ Peifen, when she blogged about it.

If you've enjoyed it, don't worry, this isn't the only one. Just go to the channel and search for the title, and you'll find previous "episodes" of this segment. It comes out once a week, in case you've finished the old ones and want new content.

Enjoy. :)

Are you all f___ed up? I know I am.

:D

10 September 2011:

大悲咒

南無喝囉怛那哆囉夜耶。南無阿唎耶婆盧羯帝爍缽囉耶。菩提薩埵婆耶。摩訶薩埵婆耶。摩訶迦盧尼迦耶。唵。薩皤囉罰曳。數怛那怛寫。南無悉吉栗埵伊蒙。阿唎耶婆盧吉帝室佛囉。楞馱婆。南無那囉謹墀。醯唎。摩訶皤哆沙咩。薩婆阿他。豆輸朋。阿逝孕。薩婆薩哆。那摩婆薩多。那摩婆伽摩罰特豆。怛姪他。唵。阿婆盧醯。盧迦帝。迦羅帝。夷醯唎。摩訶菩提薩埵。薩婆薩婆。摩囉摩囉。摩醯摩醯唎馱孕。俱盧俱盧羯蒙。度盧度盧罰闍耶帝。摩訶罰闍耶帝。陀囉陀囉。地唎尼。室佛囉耶。遮囉遮囉。麼麼罰摩囉。穆帝隸。伊醯伊醯。室那室那。阿囉參佛囉舍利。罰沙罰參。佛囉舍耶。呼盧呼盧摩囉。呼盧呼盧醯利。娑囉娑囉。悉唎悉唎。蘇嚧蘇嚧。菩提夜。菩提夜。菩馱夜。菩馱夜。彌帝唎夜。那囉謹墀。地利瑟尼那。婆夜摩那。娑婆訶。悉陀夜。娑婆訶。摩訶悉陀夜。娑婆訶。悉陀喻藝室皤囉夜。娑婆訶。那囉謹墀。娑婆訶。摩囉那囉。娑婆訶。悉囉僧阿穆佉耶。娑婆訶。娑婆摩訶阿悉陀夜。娑婆訶。者吉囉阿悉陀夜。娑婆訶。波陀摩羯悉哆夜。娑婆訶。那囉謹墀皤伽囉耶。娑婆訶。摩婆利勝羯囉夜。娑婆訶。南無喝囉怛那哆囉夜耶。南無阿利耶婆羅吉帝爍皤囉夜。娑婆訶。唵。悉殿都。漫多囉。跋陀耶。娑婆訶。

最近的心情很亂。一方面擔心著自己的友誼，一方面擔心自己年底的復旦進入計劃，一方面擔心即將來臨的考試。於是就聽了大悲咒。這是多麼溫暖的一首經啊。所以想分享給大家。

As quoted from Wikipedia, Buddhism is a religion and a philosophy.

8 September 2011:

4200!

My blog viewership has past 4200!!! :D A big thank you to all the readers out there since I first posted on 17 March 2010.

I know my blogging style is boring, draggy, and lame at times, but luckily there are people who don't mind this content! Hahah.

I've also got a piece of good news! (Or maybe only for me.) Thanks to the help of the people at Fonts.com, I am able to use Web Fonts in my blog! So from today onwards, all Chinese posts will have a different font! This is great cos no matter what fonts your computer has, it doesn't matter. So long as you have Internet, you will be able to use the font!! :)

唯一可惜的地方就是我沒完全達到我想要的效果，不過現在這樣子已經很好了。多謝 Fonts.com 的人的幫助。他們的服務非常的好。雖然我用的是免費配套，不過他們還是很迅速的回覆了我的電郵！:) TTFN.

7 September 2011:

15 Must Have FREE Applications (at least for me)

1. Google Chrome
I think the first one is self-explanatory. It's probably the best web browser ever, definitely better than that crap of Internet Explorer. It's faster, supports new web languages like HTML5, and offers many extensions and themes. Although Firefox seems to be on par with Chrome on all these aspects, but to me, Chrome is still the best. My bias, maybe.

2. GIMP
GIMP isn't as popular as Google Chrome, but it is gaining in popularity, since it was released 10 years ago. GIMP is the best alternative to Photoshop, with the biggest plus point being that it is free, and yet offers most of what Photoshop has to offer. What you require but can't find in the program itself, search it up in their plug-in database, or anywhere on the Internet and download it in. Almost every image used in my blog is edited or created by GIMP.

3. doPDF
Everyone needs to create PDFs from time to time. For me, and many other tech sites, doPDF seems to be the best solution for this task. It's free, and yet generates rather decent PDFs whom resolutions are surely acceptable!

4. Glary Utilities
I just discovered this program today, and I am very, very impressed by it already. It has many, many essential functions like Registry Cleaner and File Shredder, just to list a few. And surprisingly, the search and analysis process was much faster than what I expected! Normally, such programs would probably take an hour or so to comb through files, but this took at most 2 minutes! One should seriously take time to explore this wonderful program that is freeware.

5. Funshion
This program comes from China. If you don't know of its awesomeness yet, it basically allows you to download TV / movie programs and watch them anytime! Sadly, there is quite few local programs being uploaded, only the very popular ones like 小娘惹. Also, it takes a long time, so don't pin your hopes on it for every program that you miss. It might be more reasonable to go to xinmsn for Catch-up TV if you missed a recent program. (Should I mention: its download speeds are mostly around 200 kB/s, so it's fast enough to ensure no breaky videos)

6. Notepad++
I do coding (mostly for my blog), and Notepad++ is a very good program for my coding needs. It has things like syntax colouring, which is very useful when you have 200+ lines of code to scan through. It also supports almost every possible language, whether web-based or not. So generally if you do programming, and desire a free coding progam, Notepad++ should be the one for you.

7. DAP
Are your downloads taking too long? Then use DAP! Download Accelerator Plus speeds up your downloads by a lot, and you can save a lot of time. My downloads once reached 300+ kB/s from an original 60 kB/s. A small rant, however: during installation, there will be a lot of selections, mainly asking you to download additional stuff like toolbars, and something from Speedbit. So, you must take note to deselect the checkboxes.

8. 7Zip
I use 7Zip to extract and compress files. It supports many file types, so you don't have to download different programs for different file types.

9. Format Factory
Format Factory is a comprehensive media converter. You can convert your photos, songs, videos to a wide variety of formats. Have fun experimenting which file format suits you the best. There are also functions like Video Joiner, which I use to combine files from Funshion sometimes. :)

10. Audacity
Audacity is a simple audio editor with a sightly dull interface, but compensates with having most of essential functions. Similar to GIMP, you can download all kinds of plug-ins, so there's almost no function that can't be done!

11. Graphmatica
Graphmatica has a dull interface, but it works perfectly fine. It has a very small file size, so you don't have to worry of it crashing your system. You can plot any kind of graph, and it is very handy when you have Math problems involving graphs! :P

12. Bulk Rename Utility
I found this program because of Funshion, heheh. Funshion would name my programs in Chinese, and I wanted to change them to English. Previously, I had to change it manually 20 times (for 20 episodes), and that was tiring. Also, you could make mistakes. But with BRU, I could just type in the pattern of the name I wanted, and it would change all the filenames at once! The interface looks scary and technical at first, but don't fret! Just read their help manual, and you'll find it very easy to get going.

13. Songbird
Instead of crappy Windows Media Player, I use Songbird for songs. (LOL) The interface is very, very nice, almost like a Mac program. The only problem I face was once when I accidentally added 100+ Audacity files, and it "flooded" the database. Removing them was a problem, since the delete option would not be available in some views. This program also has plug-ins for the many functions you want.

14. VLC Media Player
This program is almost self-explanatory. Although it has a big file size, but at least it compensates by playing almost any kind of video or song. (If I'm not wrong, pictures too!) It has a simple interface that can be edited.

15. xMind
I use xMind for mind mapping, especially for History revision. It has a pleasant interface, and it's very easy to understand and use. But if I'm not wrong, the file size is rather big as well.

And there you have it, 15 of my must-have programs! Hopefully you benefit from these programs. Oh by the way: All 15 of them are free. Some offer paid versions, so you could upgrade if you need to. But to me, all of them are enough with the paid version. :)

6 September 2011:

If Human Relations were a subject, I would probably get a F9.

I've probably blogged about this for a lot of times, but I can't help mentioning it again.

It does seem that I have problems integrating. To all the haters out there, yes, you may laugh at me now. The problem happened last year, and this year again. Or at least, it does seem to be the case.

The boys in the class can be roughly spilt into a few groups: the rather quiet (or well-behaved) ones, the noisy and disruptive bunch, and the 4 (I don't know how to describe it without being too obvious). The noisy and disruptive bunch has the most number of "members".

I would like to integrate with as many guys in the class as possible, but it seems like it's quite difficult. Besides the sudden attitude change towards me by B, I have some differences with the rest of them. Because of that, I am at most a classmate, or maybe a "weak" friend.

A sidenote (or maybe rant) about B: I wish to know what's wrong with you, or me. Why the sudden attitude change? Why did you suddenly become so distant towards me? If there's a problem with me, tell me, and I can see what to do with it. If all you're gonna do is to distance away from me, it's no solving of problems! I'm pessimistic, and of course I would think that maybe you do not require this friendship. Or was it a friendship to begin with ...?

Alright, back to the main topics. I really don't know how if there's a project to do in the future. I'm just hoping and guessing that, because of the massive amount of syllabus that we have to cover for next year's O Levels, there can be no more projects. I've experienced bad project groups last year (which is my fault partly), and I do not want to go through this whole thing again.

I've "calculated": if there really was a project to do, I'd probably be with two members that I extremely detest (maybe I should do a post to rant about S), or I would be with a group that I do not really blend in well.

Yesterday, something happened. A teacher got so angry with our class as a whole, that she walked out. D asked the class to apologise to her. The bunch of boys who were largely at fault showed no remorse. That really didn't go well with me. They returned late; no matter what reason they had, it was courtesy of them (at least one of them) to explain what happened.

When they were told to go and apologise, I heard at least two of them mentioning something about not being able to go off, now that the teacher was coming back to teach us. Seriously ...? I don't know if I'm being too stuck-up, but I feel that that is no way that people should carry themselves. I don't expect 100% seriousness. But when a mistake's made, at least show that you are sorry, so you should be. And that was another reason why I find it so hard to integrate with them.

Now, most of the people I am close to are from other classes. Not that it's not good, but they too have their own friends from their classes. I will feel bad if I go with them all the time. Sooner or later, they would probably be displeased with me.

My character is probably not the best that you can see. You can start a list of my shortcomings, and probably will never get to end it anytime soon. But I am trying to change. The thing is, how am I supposed to change if I don't even know that the particular action is deemed wrong?

I think it's very ironic. Sometimes when people don't like each other, they claim that "he / she is [...], and he / she doesn't change!" How are they supposed to change? If everyone keeps mum about each other's bad aspects, no change is going to take place, unless either discoveres it tragically from gossip. So maybe everyone could just gently remind their friends of anything they can't see eye to eye with. A solution or compromise could be worked out, and All's Well Ends Well.

///

And so I shall see what becomes of me in the remaining time.

Deep down, everyone's insecure.

5 September 2011:

The thing about press freedom.

Two things in the newspapers today prompted me to talk about press freedom. It might not be the best exposition article you get to read, so bear with it if there are any errors.

Firstly, Beijing Propaganda Bureau has taken control of two Beijing newspapers, the Beijing Times and Beijing News. You may view the article here. It claims that this is not a crackdown on the papers, which are known for bold reporting, most recently about the Wenzhou train crash in China.

Indeed, there was news that newspapers in China were tasked to only report on the positive side of happenings after the disaster, which was seen as a big insult to the China Communist Party (CCP). The reports were supposed to be only on rescue efforts and heroic events, and not about the cause of the crash. Which is no doubt, since there was probably a lot of under-table stuff going on that led to this crash. From a commentary I read, the tracks were constructed way ahead of their time, so as to meet with July 1, the annieversary of the CCP. The project was accelerated so fast, that shoddy work started to take place. According to an article, a hardening chemical that was supposed to be added was not, since their pace was too fast for the chemical to be even manufactured.

Anyways, it is believed that due to the going against of edicts for reporting, the Propaganda Bureau is taking over the newspapers. The level of press freedom in China has dropped once again, and it really is a sad thing. By taking such a measure, tens of millions of people are going to be "blinded" by the media, being unaware of things going on around them.

I was rather pleased when it was reported in the Straits Times or other newspapers that the two papers had been reporting bravely against rules previously. I thought that slowly, China was going to release its control on the media, and slowly allow citizens to face the facts that they are bad things about its partial regime. It is time to stop hiding black spots on their supposedly flawless white records. It is time to let China people be aware that yes, their leaders do make mistakes as well.

Sadly, this move did not last long. The Bureau claims that this taking over is not a crackdown, but who knows? Maybe, sooner or later, one of the papers vanishes, leaving the other to be yet another mouthpiece for the CCP. It is already said that the two papers might be merged into one. I suppose this makes easier control for the Bureau, since they only have one outlet to censor everyday. And yes, I do believe that everyday, "見不得人" things are being censored from China's newspapers everywhere.

It is a sad thing but, what to do ...?

Secondly, someone posted a letter to The Straits Times' forum about "online chatter" not just chatter. Article: here. My main point following would not be about whether the "online chatter" was only just chatter, or something more than that. I would like to focus on a statement that the writer made in the third last paragraph:

... mainstream media like The Straits Times must find the people's authentic pulse; visionaries and insightful individuals must ask probative questions and share valid views; comedians must nudge us and artists, inspire us.

With that, I would already like to conclude that Straits Times (ST) is not pro-government. Or at least, it is not largely controlled. I do see instances where yes, there seems to be some prior arrangement so as to highlight certain pro-government news, but I believe that is a minimum.

If that was the case, would this letter have even made it to the papers? If the setting was in China, and this letter rephrased to suit its context, it would probably be burnt in some chute. And the next day, yet another person vanishes from the face of this Earth.

I once attended a seminar, where the editor of 聯合早報 talked to us about how news articles are being arranged in newspapers. She showed us the case of the 911 incident (which, incidentally, its 10th anniversary is in 4 days time). Newspapers around the world reported it on the cover page; only China's People Daily, being controlled strongly by the government, featured it as a miserable side story. To be fair, the story was still on the first page. However, the news that superceded it was no big event that happened in China, it was merely about leadership renewal and visits of China leaders.

See the difference? People in Singapore keep complaining that we are under a regime, and that ST is being controlled and used by the government to portray the ruling party (which basically forms most of the government anyway) in the positive side. How true is this?

Many a time, I have seen ST and other papers running less than positive articles about leaders, and often featuring very frank commentaries about the shortcomings of our leaders. Think about it, if this was in China, would you even get to see such commentaries?

While I understand that Singapore ranks a low 136 out of 178 countries in the Press Freedom Index, I feel that at least ST is not that controlled. Of course, it may be careless analysis on my part, and I stand corrected if there are any flaws in my logic. :)

4 September 2011:

Love 來 love 去不累嗎。

我愛你　你愛他　他愛她　她愛他
你愛我　我愛她　她愛他　他愛她

—— Hebe 田馥甄 《Love!》

 好亂哦，真的好亂。問世間情為何物……可能都解釋不清楚。

前天和朋友們到了 Nex 玩了一陣。當中有一段真心話大冒險，玩到一半成了真心話真心話，哈哈。也就如此，發現了原來他愛她，他又真的愛她。我承諾了不會說出是誰，所以這次連名字的字母都不放進去。

中學時期談戀愛好嗎？我不是想進行一個富有教育意義的理論、說教，只是想，可能得要理清自己的思路吧。同時給予別人一些借鑒（？）

之前的一段簡短的戀愛，以悲劇結束。現在我不想論誰對誰錯（一個巴掌拍不響），只不過想分析下到底該不該。前天朋友們問起這段戀情，我把它說成一個錯誤的投資。我不是在貶低對方不值得我，只是我把時間、精力、心情錯誤投資在錯的人身上。

雖然我可能得不到我想要的那個人，不過我寧可等待著她，也不會再錯誤地去開始其他戀情。前天，Ｊ友（這個無關緊要，可以標明）說的很對：求學時期談戀愛，十個當中有九個失敗。當初愛得轟轟烈烈，到最後不得而知……我想很多人都不想得到這種經歷吧。又或者，最後兩人成為「最熟悉的陌生人」（這首歌在我腦海不停播放 :P），互恨對方。

所以可能，老師、家長經常說的「做朋友就好了」未必是不好的。至少，你不越軌、不逾矩，可能當下的愛意也能轉換為永久的友誼。何樂而不為呢？

:)

3 September 2011:

How do you think my blog looks now?

Out of impulse today, I created a new blog skin. This is the most satisfied blog skin I have ever created. And I'm glad this design suceeded in the end, since I spent almost 3 hours of my time working on this skin.

Still, there were some stuff that I did not get to implement, but never mind. At least I could achieve at least 80% of what I wanted. I am slightly sore about not being able to use Chinese web fonts. I subscribed to Fonts.com's web fonts service, but the script didn't seem to work. For my English and Russian font, which is the same, I used Google Web Fonts, which was very good! :)

The logo was created by me :) But of course, I must give credit to GIMP for being such a wonderful editor. The font is called "hand writing multu", which I don't know what that means. I remember I downloaded this font from who-knows-where, and there were four other fonts that came with it. The other four were mainly shadows, so I supposed it was meant to be used profesionally.

So I deleted the four other fonts, and kept this one. Thankfully I rememberd this font, else my logo would not be as nice as it is today. And yep, that's about it.

TTFN.

If anyone knows how to solve the problem of not having a Chinese web font, please do let me know. You could do so via the "moreofme" area in the sidebar. I'd really appreciate it!

2 September 2011:

This is a nostalgic post; keep away if you dislike memories.

沒錯，這將是一個懷舊的文章。為何突然要從記憶的抽屜中倒出以前的一些回憶呢？沒什麼，只是在吃飯的時候突然想到了。一想到，馬上傻笑起來。這段經歷，除了顯示我當時的夢想，也反映了我的天真。