singzeon.


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30 November 2010:

Received the packing list and itinerary for Wufang camp.

心裡很緊張。
說真的,我知道我的武術基礎在哪裡。無論別人說我有多好,我還是知道的:不然,教練為何會把我放到隊伍的後面?在這裡,我不是想抱怨教練、隊友。我沒有抱怨的意思。我只是擔心這次去武坊會把臉丟光。雖然說Y已經告訴了我只會有太極的部份,不過我心裡仍有不安。

心裡怪忐忑。
在formspring上「跟蹤」了一個人,被發現了。

心裡很開心。
終於終於買了新的學年所需要用到的課本。希望歷史能進步。


29 November 2010:

People of two different schools have different attitudes towards some websites.

Okay, this isn't about any rivalry or anything. The two schools I'm talking about is my school and DHS. (This is gonna be a real random and boring post, so if you are bored enough already, don't read.)

I noticed that generally, DHS people have more Twitter and Formspring accounts. As compared to CCHMS people, they like it more. It's also the same for blogs.

L (from CCHMS) once disproved of all these. I still amused, why generally their thoughts are so different.

In other news, I should stop slacking. It's really rare for me to get into Triple Science, so I should familiarise myself with the contents at least, so that I would not be lost when school reopens. I just hope that I will improve in Physics and History.


26 November 2010:

So the excitement from the Yunnan trip has died down; and Wushu people are back.

Life's pretty much back to normal now.

No more events anymore (at least for the time-being), so I will have a lot of free time to do homework and stuffs. Until now I still don't know where is my Math textbook. Because of that I can't do my Math homework; okay this sounds like an excuse but yeah.

For this holiday we only have 3 subjects of homework, which is comparatively relaxing. Yet, I have not started on any one. (Okay, maybe Chinese can count.) I tried doing Chinese yesterday, but could not submit the file. So I procrastinated again. Wonder when my Chinese homework can be completed.

Yesterday I also had Chinese tuition as a replacement for the one I missed when I was at Yunnan. My awesome slackish teacher talked the whole session to me about Yunnan. I kept hinting to her whether or not she could at least flip the pages of my homework, but she said this was a talking session so she could train my talking skills and train my thoughts. Such a great excuse, isn't it? Slack-ed off the whole time when it was one that I really wanted to do.

She promised to help me in my compo skills. My guess is that she forgot to bring the materials again, so she is just killing time by doing this with me. Like WTH?! I'd rather "send" her home and read some other stuff than listen to her talk to me about things I'd already know.

I think I'm just gonna rant on, I know it's not nice to read but anyway.

Her attitude is getting from bad to worse. This wasn't the case in my previous tuition teacher. In fact, it was her that improved my Chinese so greatly. Recently, someone asked my what my favourite subject was. This time, I answered Math. My "like" towards Chinese is fading. I know that's not a good thing, since I've told countless people why they should like Chinese, but I just can't help it.

My previous tuition teacher told me once of a student she had. He was fabulous; getting As for Chinese, excelling in it. He liked the language thoroughly, which was almost like me. Yet, now, he is having problems conversing already. What happened in between these two stages was that he somehow lost touch with Chinese during a holiday. From then on, he was less supportive of Chinese. The rest, they say, is history.

I really do not want to become such a person. Although I know I won't (at least for the time-being), but I don't want my passion of Chinese to slip further. Let's see how it goes from here.

In other news, I might be having a class change.


25 November 2010:

formspring.me

Ask me anyth. http://formspring.me/singzeon


24 November 2010:

我回來了!

昨天從雲南回到了新加坡。真的,家的感覺還是最好的。
在雲南,體會了很多。除了要感激、感謝別人,也要懂得用一顆感恩的心去珍惜別人。
其次就是不要因為名利或其他原因而去作某件事情。那是沒用的。
其實,還有很多很多的道理,只是我不想一一列出來,畢竟我又不是要訓練你。

八天里,有快樂、有悲傷。
快樂占大多數,還好。
我們以學生理事會的身份,去雲南幫助一些需要的孩子、去爬山來考驗我們的毅力、等等。
美好的回憶太多了,沒法說完它。不過沒關係,我收在心裡就好了。
當然也不忘了要和其他的學生領袖分享,不可以進行自我封閉,那就適得其反了。

在這次的行程裡,我對某些人的認識更深了些。
有好的一面,也有不好的一面。
一向來被認為是很好的一個人,讓我看出了他的另外一面。
而我沒什麼機會接觸的另一個人,卻令我感到溫馨、和嫉妒。
別誤會。我是嫉妒他的才華。
說真的,我是打從心底的羡慕他,竟然是那麼棒的一個人。
但是,我又對前者感到失望。我真的沒料到他會有這樣子的表現。
不過算了。從今開始,我就懂得了。

我不應該再那麼悲觀了。

---

今天,我有很多時候是沉浸在emo的情緒當中。
我知道那很不好,不過我控制不了。
一整天,我不停地想著蔣曄姐姐,和那些有同我一起去的人。
雖然我還會再見到身邊的朋友,但是那種失落感還是有的。
早上起來,開始想念S和D。每天(幾乎)D會叫我,然後S會是最後一個起來的。
今天早上起來,房間里只有一個人,就開始覺得不開心了。
午餐、晚餐自己一個人吃,真的不是滋味。在雲南,連早餐都是十個八個一起吃。
有那種團隊精神,
在雲南,每天都過得很充實。教課、爬山……
今天下來,我做了很多傻事。不是睡覺就是作白日夢。
想要開始做功課時才發現課本不見不能作,那時我感覺到很憂鬱。
希望明天以後我能慢慢轉換過來,不再為那麼多美好的回憶而感到傷心。
再說,我有照片留念。
明天,我將把剩下的照片上傳到面簿上,


14 November 2010:

It is a period of transition for me.

I have to get used to so many things now. It is a bit of an overload, but never mind.

A lot of things are changing, that's for sure. Mr Chua said once:

The only constant is change.

which was reiterated by our principal. Of course, it must have been somebody else that first said this; I'm just lazy to find out who that is.

Anyway, I hope I will pull through. And there's something wrong with my blog skin, fixing it now.


13 November 2010:

Tech check for me. P.S. I can't seem to think of a long title.

What's a tech check?

Haha, it's the time when I check how much I have gained in the "technological" realm. Wow, I sound like some guru or something. No lah!

Well ... I have done nothing about HTML5. My excuse is that it's still not a pressing one, so that shall have to wait. We'll see about that.

JavaScript? I just finished reading a book by my favourite publisher Wrox. Really, Wrox's technical guides are simply the best. I like the way the content is presented, by using simplistic design. Wrox just gave its newest books a makeover, some of which I can already find in the library.

That I do not support. Call me a "disliker" of change, this is one example of unhelpful change. To me, the font has made it difficult to read "comfortably". The design was okay, though.

But I disgress.

As I was saying, I just finished reading a book on JavaScript. I wanted to borrow the Professional book (which is another thing I like about Wrox: Beginner book to Professional), but decided against it since I found something more interesting.

jQuery!!

It is something like JavaScript, in fact if I'm not wrong it's a framework of JavaScript. So, I hope I can gain something from there.

Alright, that's about it. I suppose you are bored enough, reading me rambling on about some geeky stuff.


12 November 2010:

Class chalet was nice.

It's a busy week ahead for me.

I'll be going to 雲南 on the 16th, and will only be back on the 23th. That'll be eight days without any new posts on this blog, but I reckon that would not make a difference.

As I said, class chalet was nice. Or should I say superb. Although I didn't sleep throughout the night, except for occasional snoozes that lasted like 10 minutes, I was pretty much awake.

The only time that I was a little "blur" was around 3AM. I don't know why, but at that time I was feeling as though I was lost. I was not sleepy, but ... "blur". I was a bit unaware of what I was doing, and started doing some random things in the guys' room. Other than that, I was really quite awake and sober.

Two things that I gained from this chalet: solid 大D skills and bonding between boys.

I am still in "shock" that 大D is the name of the game that we were playing throughout the chalet. Haha. I still thought that it was something like Taiti. Somehow I was looking at Cantonese stuffs before this, so when I pronounced it mentally it seemed to be something like Big Two, since I heard that "ti" means two.

Link everything up, and I found myself a website on the rules of 大D. I only actually got to know how to play it on 7 Nov, on my friend's birthday party. Although I was exposed to this game previously, but it was just my cousin using my hands to hold his cards while he played. Supposedly I was to learn from his selection of cards, but I couldn't understand anything.

One thing I still am slightly confused is the rank of cards. Never mind, I shall read the website carefully and maybe practise with cousins whenever possible.

The other thing was that the boys were real bonded, I felt. Even thought there were 插曲 along the way, but that helped the bonding, I think. I would like to go on more, but the things I want to say is a little private, so I think I shall not. LOL


11 November 2010:

I'm very depressed now.

Really have no mood for blogging now, even thought it's a good way to release my emotions.

I am quite a devout Buddhist, just that I am still unable to solve that part of me that is quite hot-tempered. I still can't follow the Eightfold Path, where people must do right things. Hopefully I am to concentrate and achieve that faster than I thought.

Hopefully one day I will be a Buddha, and achieve enlightment. Maybe that day will come when I go.

There are quite a lot Christians, I noticed. I have nothing against Christians, just that some are more extremist and will insult people who are not Christians. Did Jesus teach that? I'm sure not.

苦極滅道。


9 November 2010:

November one heck of a hectic. Hmm, maybe that's why hectic is pronounced as heck-tic.

I have had countless tests. I must always choose what to drop.

Now, I really feel so tired. It's like as if I chose the wrong thing from the start. Now, I keep thinking "What if I chose the other one?"

Although I know I shouldn't be regretting my choices now, there is a tinge of disappointment. Thinking back, maybe I should have chosen a certain activity. That way, I would not need to experience all these now.

Now, I am merely being pushed by my circumstances. I have no right as to how things are going. Hopefully December wouldn't be like that, and that I can finish my homework.


7 November 2010:

我覺得有些人真的很欠扁,那當然也包括我自己

今天上了B友的家。我們幾個人在吃火鍋。
(他的火鍋真好吃!)
因為我是信佛者,所以我不能吃牛肉。恰巧,他們一家人準備了牛肉和豬肉。
所以,他們決定分開來煮,一半是不可以煮牛肉的。
(多謝B友的貼心)
事情就發生了!
M不知怎麼的,也沒觀察好人們為何一直把牛肉放到一半的鍋而已,就把一片牛肉放進不可以的那一半。
道歉又怎樣?
M的道歉虛情假意。
不是我想挑、不是我很小氣(至少這次沒有),但我從幾年前就已經知道了。
M本身不是一個很受歡迎的人,當初在母校是這個樣。
他非常驕傲、做作。
咳,他真的很欠扁。


6 November 2010:

我愛書。

幾年前,這還是個事實。
幾年後的今天,我……不能很自信地這麼說。

幾年前,書裡的文字像螞蟻,迫不及待地擠進我的眼簾。我也很迫切地拼命吸收這些字。
書是精神食糧。我把書裡的文字一個個啃得爛爛的,把它所富含的營養全部吸收了。
當初,書裡有很多字是我不認識的。我必須時常地查看字典,不然就一頭霧水。

幾年後,書裡的文字像螞蟻,迫不及待地擠進我的眼簾。我討厭這些字,非要把我的眼睛擠壞才甘心。
書是精神食糧。屁話,書裡的文字能幹啥用?能給掙錢么?營養?放屁。
現在,書裡的很多字我都認識。不知道的我也不查字典,不會一頭霧水。

以上的內容只有50%真實,不要誤會。我只是無聊,想「練練」我的寫作罷了。不過,的確,現在來說,書本並不能引起我什麽興趣。雖然我還是會樂意地、自覺地閱讀學校的讀物,不過不會像以前那樣,癡迷書本。
以前,我經常被笑是書呆子,而且還是個癡迷華文的書呆子。(現在還有餘音,不過我已經接受了)
其實,書本是不錯,不過藉口不時地圍繞著我。一時「要吃飯去」,一時「要讀書去」……
所以沒讀到什麽書。現在假期了,我開始閱讀一些書籍。華文的書籍。
真的,讀書是一種習慣,要慢慢培養的。
我現在已經沒有閱讀的精力了,每讀幾頁就想放棄,不知道什麽時候還能想從前那樣任意地閱讀?不管吃飯、不管讀書……


4 November 2010:

Communication is a two-way street.

I just came back from the councillor camp. It was eventful, to put in simply. I don't think any of you wishes to read my rantings, so I shan't.
I just think that it's such a failure if one doesn't practice what he / she preaches. How are people going to listen and follow? A good leader is a good follower. If one doesn't put down his status and "follow" people, is he fit to be a good leader?

Someone doesn't understand the meaning of "personal preferences". Criticising another's choice just because one doesn't like it is very immature, in my view. Even though one does not like a particular person, there is no need to insult any party. Nobody would say anything if any one disagreed. How would a person feel if what I did was to put down someone just because of his / her choice? It's just a choice; a personal preference. It's not as if he / she chose something like a sex change, maybe that personal preference is a bit hard to accept.
I find that it was seriously uncalled for. Never once did I attack any of anyone's preference, yet I am put down because of a slightly different choice. How fair is that?
I wish people understand that it is perfectly alright to live without certain things in life: music, for instance. Okay, maybe not all. But there is no need to insult a person saying that he "should just go and die" just because he does not know a band. The person already clarified that he does not listen to music that much. So what if he does not know that band? How aversely is it going to affect him? At least he does not have a character as that.

It's a public holiday tomorrow. Time to finish up some things I've been trying to complete.


1 November 2010:

I have always been against vulgarities; simple reason: there is no need to.

Of course, I know it sounds like an excuse, but I am fine with bi**h and ba****d. Somehow I think that is quite alright, since most people are already onto something even more dirty.
I don't understand why people would need to use vulgarities. They are just a way of emotional discharge, which I see as the failure of managing one's emotions. We do get angry along the way, but there is no need to use those words. Scold if you want, but why the use of such words? I really don't get it.
Those for vulgarities might argue that there was a recent study stating that vulgarities do actually help by having some positive effects on the human body. I do not deny that. However, like what I said previously, why can't people find other ways to express their feelings?
My dad says at least 10 vulgarities every day. Someone who knew me (and my dad) once commented to me that we are very different in terms of this. While vulgarities were flowing out of his mouth at any moment, I am very against vulgarities.
This leads me to the problem of driving, at least in Singapore. My dad will swear during every driving trip, at least when I am present. I do not know whether he does it when he's with others, but I hope not. There were two incidences when I clearly saw his failure and the other party's triumph over him.
There were two cars in a multi-storey carpark in the east: my dad's car (with me and him only) and another red BMW driven by a lady. The lady was a tad slow, so my father horned loudly at her. She went slower, in a bid to spite my dad. My dad got very pent up and unleashed his fabulous vocabulary. To me, the woman inside has really won him. She probably would have forgotten about it after a while; and she was in a way controlling him since he cannot overtake. As for my dad, he was very angry and shouting from inside his car. His mood was still bad after that. The woman did not (or rather I hope not) use any vulgarities, yet she was able to control him perfectly. What help does vulgarities do in this instance? Nothing, just aggrevating one's angry emotions.
Then there was this irony that my dad had; which until today I am unable to comprehend. Once, he reversed his car to drive off from a parallel parking lot. He went too fast and knocked gently on the car behind. As luck would have it, the driver of that car was behind, standing on the pavement. The moment my father got down the car, she greeted him with a "what the hell". She did not use any other vulgarity after that. But, my father was very angry. The main reason was that she had demanded compensation when there was barely a scratch on her car. The other reason was that she used "what the hell". Ha, what a joke. He has been using English and Hokkien vulgarities on people, yet he is affected by a "what the hell"? Has he ever thought of how people like me feel after listening to his vulgarities? Of course, now I am immune to it, since it has been 365 days multiplied a few years. To me, it's just a stupid act that he knows of, and performs it for us to see.
What strikes me was that he said something about her and what her kids would grow up to be. What about me? In that sense, can I say that he has been grooming me to be a vulgarity expert, since he has been exposing me to it every day. It really is an irony that he doesn't see.

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aboutme.

From Singapore. 20 years of age. Blogs as and when inspiration comes, in British English (and Singlish), Traditional Chinese and (hopefully) Russian. Not a lifestyle blogger, expect posts to be serious, dull or even obscure. I enjoy comedy, in particular British humour.



interests.

[more or less in order] medicine | forensics | theatre | modern world history | typography (including style and grammar) | visual design | Taiji | Chinese language and literature | Mandarin pop (and singing) | Apple products.



typography.

PT Serif for main text and links. Ubuntu Condensed for dates, post titles and sidebar headings. Both fonts from Google Web Fonts.



credits.

singzeon. by Sing Zeon is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International Licence. Pictures used here either come from my Instagram (instagram.com/singzeon) or Google image search. For the latter, I do not own those pictures.



quote.

Hard to love. 認真你就輸了。