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28 June 2013:

Some random musings X.


1. I have way too much random musings.

2. Some of my friends are recently plagued with relationship-related issues. I know it can be quite distracting for them to be thinking of someone while focusing on work. I hope that they can tidy up their emotions as soon as possible.


The above message was taken from a chat I had with someone. I'm not gonna list his / her name or even initials because I don't think it's nice to reveal. No matter how contrived or pretentious it may seem, it's true.

I'm sure at times when we're overwhelmed by emotions, we do wish to switch it all off. Temporarily escape reality, whatever works. Which is why for me, I've decided to just switch it off from the start.

Maybe people who have followed me on Twitter since a long time ago would know. Previously I used to be very 'emo'. When I was feeling upset I would post tweets and feel bad. Sometimes people would show concern, sometimes not.

Nowadays, I almost never do it. It's not that I am perfectly happy every single day now. It's just that somehow I've become slightly emotionless, so I am less affected by things already. I know what you're gonna say: isn't that becoming less humane?

I guess in a way, yes, I am one step closer to becoming a robot. Pragmatic, realistic and void of emotions. But I suppose till now things are controllable. I am able to control what exactly I should or should not feel.

3. Linking back to a point I made previously, 單身挺好的. It's good to be single. I'm not saying that being in a relationship is no good, but I guess many a time staying girlfriend/boyfriend-less can actually be wonderful.

When you don't fancy anyone, you don't spend time thinking of him / her. You can save yourself from heart attacks or heartbreak. As someone recounted to me, their emotions could be affected by whatever the other party does.

I imagine a puppeteer. He is pulling you, controlling you. He is skilful at it. He using a special kind of strings: heartstrings. From what I heard, these strings are difficult to get rid of. You're gonna have a hard time being under the control of the puppeteer.

Therefore, I say, release yourself. Leave all this emotional drama till later. Focus on friends, family and studies. This may sound really like what some adults would advise, but I guess it's rather true.

4. My first paper is on Southeast Asian history, but I have not touched any material at all since the holidays started. Good luck to me, aye.

5. I really, really wish for a time where I can spend it all in the library. I went to the library recently after a long while and it was renovated. There were many new books there. Maybe it's OCD, but I am absolutely drawn to books in a series. I wanna collect them all.

6. I knew it, you changed.

7. Recently my attitude towards things has been one of 'meh, who cares?' And I don't know if that's good or bad. Point in case, when an Indonesian minister scolded Singaporeans as childish kids. Practically the whole nation reacted. Except me.

It's not that I'm not upset by his comment. But I felt that there was no need to react over it. I'd have to say, though, it's good to see Singaporeans being so united. Then another case popped up just now.

Someone scolded students from Temasek Academy (TJC's Integrated Programme branch) because some of them were at the library and 'hogging' seats. The person reasoned that since they do not have O Levels, it's not as urgent for them so they should not use the space.

There were many strong reactions regarding this post. Meanwhile, I had the same reaction. 'Meh.' What that guy / girl said was insensitive and incorrect, but I really didn't feel a strong sense of indignation to react angrily enough.

This non-reaction of mine has surprised me too. (Ironic eh.) Previously I used to be those who would react strongly to things. It would be others who tell me 'Hey, no point being so angry, anyway [...]'. Now it seems like I've done it.

Yet, could this just be another sign of my becoming a human void of emotions? I never know.

8. The 9pm show showing on Channel 8 now is rather wonderful. Compared to the previous one which I wrote a post about, this one is gold. Maybe it's because the cast here is all experienced, unlike that one.

I'm actually drawn to watching it night after night. Sadly school is starting soon and I don't think I can really watch every single episode of it. What a pity. Nevertheless I foresee a high viewership for this drama, all the best for it.

Also, I noticed that for this latest drama the sound editing is really good. There were techniques that were not explored last time. The theme song and sub-theme song are also excellent. I really think the person / people in charge of this drama's audio should win an award.

9. I strongly believe that children below the age of 13 should never use Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. They should learn how to socialise and make friends in real life. Then the social networks come as a supplement, which would be handy to keep in touch with their primary school friends.

Otherwise, generally kids who use such networks at such a young age tend just to post embarrassing and lame things. Almost guaranteed self-embarrassment in the future. Also, how are they gonna learn human interaction if they are going to be stuck to the screen for so long?

TTFN.


25 June 2013:

Just saying ...


Buddhism is a religion of compassion, but I guess once in a while there still has to be punishment. May all evildoers get bad karma.

TTFN.


21 June 2013:

Haze II. 煙霾 II. Смог II.

The haze has been raging for the fifth day today. Technically it started on 17 June, when PSI started to rise to around 80 or so. Apart from some things I raised yesterday, some things have surfaced and it deserves mentioning.

Students should stop wishing that the PSI could increase further so that schools would be forced to close. I understand that no student wants to go back to school after a month’s break, neither do I. But do you understand how irresponsible that statement is?

Assume PSI hits 500 and schools are closed. Do you really think you’d be enjoying yourself? Do you think you could go to Sentosa or MBS to party over its closure? Chances are, you’d still be trapped at home in an air-con room slacking away.

Also, what about your parents or grandparents? If the haze really was so bad, their health would be affected too. It’s the holidays now and we don’t have to go out, MOE has cancelled all school activities for the remaining holidays. But most of our parents have to go out to work. You are indirectly cursing your parents.

Others say they wish schools would be closed for one week or so. Not just because they don’t want to go back to school, but because they need more time to study for exams which are just after school re-opens. Even so, in the long term this would still have a negative impact.

Assume that schools are closed for one week; exams are pushed back by one way. After exams, syllabus has to continue. This means one week less to complete semester 2 syllabus. For JC students I think we all know how bad that can be. Teachers would rush even more.

Yes we could possibly have make-up lessons, but how long would that take? My timetable has 30 periods of lessons in a week. There are 10+ weeks left in the term, not every day students can make it or end early enough to have make-up lessons. Eventually this affects us during our year-end exams.

Which is worse? Sacrificing our mid-year or year-end exams? For me, I’d rather do badly for JCTs instead of Promos. So although this reason (more time to study) still is more reasonable, but it is nevertheless slightly short-sighted.

I don’t want to sound mean, but I really think that if students keep harping on the fact that schools should close / may be closed, it gets irritating after a while. And I really expected many more to be more mature and sensible in thinking through such things.

Typicalben has mentioned something like that in his post as well. It’s not even funny anymore, to wish for the haze to rise any further, simply so that schools can close. If you haven’t realised, this is a national crisis; there is no time for immature thoughts and actions.

~

Today some sources such as The Online Citizen have reported that some people are selling masks at hiked-up prices. According to CNA, the average price of a N95 mask is SGD 3. People are selling it for as much as SGD 5, or even SGD 12 (from Typicalben’s example).

On the other side though, there are people who purposely buy a lot and give them out free to elderly or people at risk. They don’t mind spending a bit of money to help others. I really do think that these people would be rewarded in one way or another, in the time to come.

In terms of economics, now is a time when demand grossly exceeds supply. During such periods, the price of the good becomes inelastic. I understand that, yes, some may look for such opportunities to profit.

However, can such people do so with a heart? Charging $5 for a $3 mask is too much. Have you ever thought of the other party? Out of desperation, they have to buy it at an over-priced level.

If you charge at $3.10 and you profit $0.10 per mask, that’s still all right. Not only do you stand to earn from this opportunity (thus fulfilling the aims of capitalism), you also are able to provide goods to people without over-exploiting them.

That would be a win-win situation, no? For those selling over-priced masks, I hope karma strikes you hard when you least expect it. You’ll get your just desserts for doing such things, wait and see.

During times of national crisis, we really see two types of Singaporeans. One is mentioned above, giving out free masks. The other is money-crazy and willing to fleece from fellow Singaporeans at all expense.

~

It’s good that the government is actively releasing data regarding the PSI. Not only do they have the usual 3-hour average per hour, they have also added the 24-hour average per hour. Also, for the 3-hour average, they have increased it to round-the-clock monitoring, instead of stopping at 0000 hrs.

However, today’s calculations does raise some eyebrows. Using the same formula that I’ve used over the past few days, today I picked some negative hourly PSI values, which is absolutely wrong. I understand that there can be fluctuations but it can never be negative.

I wouldn’t go so far to say that they are doctoring the data though, since I don’t have much proof, although the multiple negative values do cause suspicion. Yesterday NEA finally addressed certain issues.

People were crying foul that the values published do not match what they see outside the window. NEA has replied that because it is an average, therefore sometimes the values do not really tally with the actual hourly value. However, the actual hourly value fluctuates a lot, and it is not that useful to give such data.

Regarding that part, it’s up to people to believe. I know there are die-hard cynics that would decry this explanation and slam it by repeating that the government hasn’t been honest with its PSI data. I think at this point we should look beyond it and focus on solving the haze first. After that, if we do have enough proof, then we may go ahead with the accusations.

~

Everyone should rest well. Especially the Reform Party. They are politicising the haze issue, which is one of the lousiest methods to do. It merely adds to the noise and benefits no one but themselves.

TTFN.


20 June 2013:

Haze. 煙霾. Смог.

1. I really don't know why people are so upset by the Indonesian minister's remark that we Singaporeans are complaining like little children. Yes it is very awful. However, I really don't think we should be so fixated by that remark itself. At best, just brush it off as foolery.

Like what PM said, it isn't 'fruitful' to address such remarks. It's really up to him to say what he wants. I think it's more important that we get this problem solved. He can continue to blabber if he desires, so long as our haze gets better then I don't care.

2. The issue of construction workers and the haze is quite thorny.

3. After much outcry, NEA is finally explaining why it publishes 3-hour average PSI readings instead of hourly ones. Their explanation was that hourly once tend to fluctuate a lot and there may not be a need for concern.

I have been plotting the actual PSI readings and indeed it does have a large range. However, since I'm ultimately not a professional in this area, I can't offer much further comment. Nevertheless, it's worth pointing out that average PSIs may differ by as much as -150 points than the actual PSI.

NEA has said that actually, a 24-hour average PSI reading is more reliable. They would be publishing 24-hour average PSI readings hourly. Again, I can only hope that this is for the better and that we could better analyse the issue at hand.

However, it's worth to note that the NEA could have been much more pro-active in its explanations. Things had actually escalated to a point where people suspected they were doctoring the PSI values just to calm people down. It isn't right to be overly sceptical or even cynical but I guess their initial silence was discomforting.

4. I really do hope that the haze situation can get better. I'm actually forecasting some smashing of the government after this dies down. Yes they faulted on some bits but I guess on the whole they didn't really perform badly (thus far).

So let's see how this plays out. I'm quite sure there are some opportunistic opposition parties who would snatch every chance to attack them, regardless of whether it's fair or not. The Reform Party is one I can think of. ("Let's repatriate all Indonesians in Singapore!", as said by them.)

By the way, what is the Workers' Party's stance on the haze? It is surprisingly silent on this issue. Don't get me wrong, I'm more of a WP supporter but their silence isn't doing themselves good as well. Not that they should act like RP, though.

5. I applaud McDonald's, KFC and Pizza Hut to suspend delivery services. I really don't understand why some people can be so inconsiderate. Because they are unwilling to go out in the haze, they call for delivery.

In other words, they are getting others to suffer for them, whilst they stay in their air-conditioned (probably) homes and wait for their food. I just don't think it's very right of them to do so, unless somehow that person has breathing difficulties or worse problems.

TTFN.


16 June 2013:

Some random musings IX.

1. There was a slashing at Orchard Cineleisure last night. I originally had comments but since this is a sensitive period, I'd rather keep my mouth shut and not reveal it at all. I really don't want to offend anyone.

But be rest assured, I didn't plan to insult or make fun of the victim or anyone else. I was very appalled when I read of people who made fun of the incident and joked about the victim. That is extremely deplorable and utterly disgusting.

I do hope that the victim of the slashing can recover as soon as possible. And that his attackers would be caught and dealt with severely.

2. My Russian is improving, somehow. Although I still can't form sentences, but I can make out what a sentence means once I check the dictionary for vocabulary. Also I've been practising writing Russian cursive. It's rather different from Russian script.

3. I went cycling with GY and YJ last Wednesday. We talked a lot throughout the two hours. There were many, many topics that we discussed. Amongst them was about how JC has become so impersonal.

M has been lamenting about how she hates school and all. While I cannot say I'm that resistant towards school, it is no longer a place that I actually look forward to. It's more like a job, where people clock-in and clock-out every day.

4. Today has been a stuff-myself-with-food day. And I'm definitely gonna get bad karma for this.

5. Speaking of bad karma, I really have been a bad Buddhist. Technically Buddhism doesn't require constant praying or anything in general unlike some other religions. However I have been neglecting it for a while.

I can't say I'm a very devout and strict Buddhist. However I do check Buddha Vacana every day. For the past two days I missed checking it, all because I forgot. Obviously that isn't very good of me. Also, it's time for a re-look of Buddhism.

6. Maybe after I learn Russian (and conversational Malay) I should learn Sanskrit. Then I can read the holy texts in their original form.

7. I'm tweeting much less now. About a year ago (I think) I quit Twitter precisely because I was tweeting too much. Then around December 2012 (I think also) I began and since then I've about 13.5K tweets. I did a check before and it averaged 100 per day.

Now that is seriously too much. I'm spending too much time on the site as well. So instead of quitting Twitter again, I've decided to just tweet way less. At first there were some tendencies but now I don't even feel like tweeting.

And every time I feel like tweeting something, I just think: 'Do they really need to know that?' or 'No one cares.' Not in the pessimistic, emo mentality but just a nuanced thought that the tweet would've been insignificant anyway.

八、最近我又開始使用華語了。語言就是這樣,如果不用的話很容易對它感到陌生。這次不只借了華文書,還寫了一些東西(例如上次的博文)。我的程度是有退步,不過沒那麼厲害,所以謝天謝地。只是可惜,現在我對成語的運用沒那麼靈活了。

9. Because I'm dying of boredom constantly, do take some time and ask me questions on ask.fm/singzeon.

10. My motto from now till the end of June holidays is 'тяжело работать, не откладывайте'. Which means 'work hard, don't delay'. I really need it. I've wasted too many days away. (This happens every holiday, actually.)

11. I think I'm gonna get water retention tomorrow. I'm somebody who almost never drinks water, but today I drank >6 glasses in the afternoon. For my body that would mean water overload. Cue O Level biology about negative feedback. Then ADH and excretory system.

12. I know it's kind of geeky or nerdy, but when it's close to exams I like to instantly recall facts when I'm eating / doing other daily activities. For example when seeing food I would think of digestion in humans (during O Level times).

But now I haven't been able to do so! And it's rather worrying because I'm not even confident for the exams. Besides, how does one visualise O&C or genomics? The closest I can think of is seeing fusilli pasta and recalling DNA's double helix. (I don't even eat pasta.)

13. It's dengue season now, and it's rather scary. Now whenever I get a mosquito bite I freak out and hope that I'm not one of the 9+K people who got infected. Also, dear Mr Balakrishnan, no one needed a minister to claim that we are at a 'critical juncture'. We all knew that.

TTFN.


13 June 2013:

Motto for next two weeks.




11 June 2013:

觀《小子當家》有感

自從上回隱射《小子當家》,我昨天看了一整集。必須說的是,昨天那集明顯好很多,不過還是有些地方值得進步,我也有些牢騷要發。

一、不知曾幾何時,新傳媒的電視劇突然放入了好多成語!我已經有幾個月沒看九點檔了,只是最近因假期所以看了幾下。而我就發現,哇!成語是多到嚇死人呢。於是乎我屈指一算,幾乎每兩句就有一個成語。

我們平時講話恐怕都沒用上那麼多吧。我可以了解新傳媒的用意,想到讓觀眾—特別是求學中的年輕觀眾—在耳濡目染下也開始/增加使用成語的次數。可這樣會否弄巧反拙呢?只怕欲速則不達……

也許是我對文字這方面比較敏感,其他人根本就沒有留意到成語氾濫(快成災了,快)。不過我還是認為這種做法的可行性低。值得慶幸得失現在的電視劇附有中文字幕了。我認為這一措施比添加數不盡的成語有效得多。

二、如果昨晚有看九點檔的朋友就會知道,不只成語多,還有一個詞的出現頻率高。那就是「擊敗」。至少有三個不同角色使用這個詞。這詞固然沒錯,可是難道編劇就不能找些同義詞給換上嗎?我寧可他們把玩詞彙,也不願成語氾濫。

原因很簡單:我們在使用華文華語的當兒,接觸的還是詞比較多,成語佔少數。於是乎,我認為如果要使用電視劇來提高觀眾的華文程度,應著重於詞彙方面。成語加一點就夠了,點到為止、適可而止。

「擊敗」能換成什麼詞呢?我起碼能想出個「打敗」。這次過於稀疏平常嗎?我不認為呀。即使如此,說話一定得用上一些深奧的詞彙方能讓人聽懂嗎?不是吧。「擊敗」、「打敗」,大盡相同。偶爾使用前者、偶爾使用後者,這樣對白就沒那麼乏味了。

再來,「擊敗」對我這個幼稚的福建人來說是個笑柄。每每聽到演員很認真的說「擊敗」,我幼稚的大腦又會令我笑。當然這點只是說說罷了,不成真正的問題。

三、有些演員*真的*不會演戲。必須說明一下我不是一名專業演員,所以我的評語也不一定是最正確的。可是昨晚的其中一個角色,那位演員把它詮釋的好可惜呀!那是個高傲的角色,而演員卻裝成似乎是便秘的表情來。

不僅如此,他似乎對鏡頭感到陌生。有幾次,他的肢體語言尷尬,而且幾乎是格格不入的。幸好和他有對手戲的演員比較有經驗,能「搶救」那場戲。不過,我認為效果還是不見了。那一場戲本來挺好看的,卻被演員破壞掉。

這齣戲找來相當多的新人(真的是*新*人),是挺有風險的。因為每每他們的出場,整個氣勢就下降了。也許是因為他們是第一次演戲,所以還不懂得某些技巧,這點可以理解。不過就是挺可惜,情節相當不錯,就是演員不能好好詮釋。

四、我不想直接批評這齣戲得的服裝師,因為他肯定受過專業培訓等。但是我在看這一集之後就覺得某些地方挺怪的。例如,主角的「死黨」們總是穿著兩三件衣服,其中包括外套。整個感覺想是嘻哈舞者。我認為這個裝扮相當不符實際。

首先,這齣戲設在新加坡。新加坡得天氣是熱死人不償命的。除非上班,否則我想人們自然會選擇穿得清涼出街。真有可能有人整天都穿著嘻哈裝嗎?再者,主角自己就是穿得清涼,感覺作為搭檔、死黨來說衣著差距挺奇怪的。

第二個地方就是與主角有對手戲的那位女人竟穿晚禮服?試想四人在一起,一人穿清涼裝、兩人穿嘻哈裝、一人穿晚禮服?對我來說是很格格不入呢,這種形象。而且大白天的,為何那女人在穿晚禮服呢?(也許這點先前幾集有說明,如果是這樣那沒事。)如果沒有交代的話,那實在怪啦。

五、又是關於編劇的事情。前幾集我沒怎麼的看,不過通過推特有看到八頻道的官方戶口不時有發表推文。其中很多就似乎是那集的「金句」讓我覺得挺納悶的。也許真的那幾句很有意思,不過我認為他們的效果做過頭了。

以我來看一部好的電視劇也就一兩句金句會使人長久記得。例如幾年前溏心風暴裡大媽吼的一句「我話係就係!」,讓人記憶猶新。這些都是觀眾覺得特別有感觸、特別深刻的句子,因此才成為經典。如果要靠電視台不時發表推文來「推廣」當中的「金句」,我不認為那樣有效。

如果觀眾自己感覺到那句話的意思,深刻領悟,他們自然就會在各自的戶口裡發表推文。到時候顯而易見那些話讓人感觸良多,會銘記在心。而不需要一個官方戶口在那裡不停的發表一些也許觀眾都沒感覺的對白。

說到它的頻率也就帶到另外一點。那就是如果一個電視劇真的每一集都有那麼多「金句」,這部電視劇到現在肯定非常紅了。可事實並非如此。於是乎,可得出的結論就是這只是「金句氾濫」。繼上頭的成語氾濫,原來金句也在氾濫。

在對白中加一些特別有感觸的話固然是好的,可是加太多又會弄巧反拙。如果在整齣劇播完後問觀眾「哪一對白令你印象深刻?」,恐怕只有一兩行成為真正的金句,其他那些費盡心思加進去的都徒勞無功。

五、雖然說當中很多新人,沒法好好詮釋自己的角色,不過有一個卻幹的挺不錯。那就是那個前模特兒,我不知道她的真名,祇知道她在戲裡飾演導演。雖然她也是新人,不過她卻很厲害於表達自己的角色。

我認為新傳媒真的應該多多栽培她,讓她成為下一個範文芳。第一次演出就能表現得那麼棒,實在不簡單呢。

就這樣。


9 June 2013:

It's not the first time I'm smitten with Skins.

I haven’t watched Skins for a long, long time. At least a few months, maybe even a year. So I haven’t been thinking of it constantly, until recently. About a week ago G and I were talking about television shows and we drifted into British ones.

She was saying about how she watched shows like Sherlock and all when I remembered Skins. I watched only the first two seasons (i.e. its first generation cast) but I guess it left a very deep impression on me ever since.

Putting aside my bias for all things British, I must say that Skins really is a great show. To date, it is the only show that nearly made me cry. I’m a very ‘heartless’ person so even when others cry I normally don’t. This tells a lot about how good Skins is.

Of course, Skins was never meant to be a tear-jerker. In fact it was more like a storytelling, except that it’s done in the form of imagery. And perhaps that’s why I could get so emotional, because I was deeply involved in the show.

Before composing this post, I did a brief search on Tumblr. It’s known for artsy-fartsy GIFs or stills of shows, and sure enough there were plenty. Most of them were, as expected, from the first generation.

That meant six years ago, for the first season of Skins started in 2007. How many shows do you know that left such a lasting legacy? Also, the first generation is most fondly remembered, even when there were two subsequent generations of cast after it.

I think if I were a literature student I would probably critically analyse the show, do characterisation of each character and identify themes. Because I absolutely love the show. Compared to all the American crap (okay not all), this one is golden.

As a side note: USA tried to copy Skins after it burst to success in UK. But they failed. Which was shame on them, because it really goes to show that certain things are best left in its original form. Also, UK is ironically more liberal for such shows. (Boo America.)

I once suggested to Channel 5 to broadcast it but got no reply, which was expected. And anyway, I doubt that they could broadcast it. In the show everyone is dysfunctional. People are smoking, drinking, taking drugs, having sex.

But that’s not why I’m so hooked to the show. It was because the show is real. Compared to those artificially-optimistic and encouraging shows that Channel 8 does right now (小子當家), this is brutally honest. And I think that’s what’s needed.

Yes, not everyone in UK drinks and smokes and all that. But hey, beneath every country (or town, since the show is set in Bristol) there’s always the layer of grime. And it’s often this layer that goes unnoticed till something happens.

In Singapore definitely the problem ain’t that bad. But dare anyone deny that there aren’t teens who are engaging in such acts as well? No, because it happens here in Singapore, no matter how people choose not to think of it.

Therefore, this show is relevant. Six years later the show still strikes a chord in people. And I must say the actors and actresses did a fantastic job of portraying their respective characters. Which was why I was so emotionally attached to all of them.

In some ways you may say that the characters in the show are contrived. There’s one who is gay, one who is a playboy, one who is a Muslim. It’s almost as if the scriptwriters are forcefully adding in characters on the fringe of society or minorities.

But even if it was, that’s what makes it beautiful then. Somehow the characters get together so beautifully and harmoniously to bring about some message in every episode. There are twists to further enhance the journey, again done well by the cast.

Until now there still is a character relationship that intrigues me: that of Tony and Maxxie. I really could write a literature-ish essay on them, but then I would have to re-watch the whole two seasons to get my scenes right.

My point is, for a story to so captivate its audience, it’s successful all right. Few actually manage to do so. The only one I can think of now is Inception, but in my opinion it is nothing compared to Skins.

Also, have I mentioned that the characters of Skins are students who are taking their A Levels? Now, isn’t that fitting? Although yes, most of us probably don’t smoke and drink and are still virgins, but we do face around the same problems as them.

Skins was six years ago. In some ways, it is time to move on. The actors themselves have, that’s for sure. Nicholas Hoult (Tony) recently starred in this zombie-themed movie that showed in Singapore and many people became fan girls. Mitch Hewer (Maxxie) moved to New York to further his career. I’m sure the rest have similar advancements too.

Yes I should move on. However I think what’s important is to keep a little of Tony, Maxxie, Sid, Chris, Michelle, Cassie and Anwar in my heart. And remember that we should stay true to our skins.

TTFN.


5 June 2013:

Some random musings VIII.

1. It really is better not to think of girls. Since JC I really didn't think about such things, and it certainly has made my life happier.

It's not to say that student couples are bad / wrong. But I think that sometimes it's really better to leave such things till after JC. Maybe what older folk said was true.

For one there's the woo-ing process where the guy (mostly) does lots of stuff to get the girl's attraction and win her heart. That stage a lot normally involves lots of time and money in doing cute stuff for her or texting her a lot.

Then once the girl says yes and they become a couple, there's the definite sticking together. As a couple they would be in each other's company a lot of times. Again that takes up time.

Or what if things don't even work out in the first place and the guy gets friendzoned? That's worse right? You'll brood over the girl and continually think of her. It can be rather distracting.

As I said, I really didn't think of girls even since entering JC. Yes there are cute girls from time to time that catch my attention, but no I have never thought of trying to chase any girl.

In fact this wasn't even a subconscious repression. I didn't force myself to say 'okay stop liking people'. It just came naturally. Or maybe I'm really not into any TJC girl.

Either way, this really saved me heartbreak and agony. Previously I would be jealous, sad and sometimes angry when the girl I fancy doesn't really care about me. Now, what girl?

As a side note I don't really think guys should be rating girls in any form. To me (and to feminists) they are objectifying girls and treating them like goods. Rate and pick the best.

While it is true that naturally you'd want the best of things, that isn't how love works, isn't it? So what if you get a girlfriend with biggest boobs or nicest smile? Do you love the person or the body?

It's probably understandable for guys to discuss and gossip about any attractive girls in college, but there has to be a limit. Otherwise they'll just sound like male chauvinist pigs that doesn't know how to respect women.

2. The number of people I know in TJ is increasing, as is the norm. But again there arises this issue of who are my close friends?

Sometimes I really feel that I don't have many friends that I'm really close with. I think my 'problem' is that I have many acquaintances and sometimes I think I have that many friends but no.

They are acquaintances and they may leave and I really can't blame them. That's what acquaintances are anyway, no one expected them to stick through thick and thin.

Recently I was thinking through my secondary school memories and I must say I do have some that I know will probably be there for me. To these people I'm really thankful for it.

3. Singapore is getting more and more undesirable as a country. Maybe not to the expats and foreign talent, but I'm sure to Singaporeans.

To be fair it isn't a hellhole. But many things are falling apart. I really don't know what to make of it. And technically my generation is the 'next generation' of Singapore.

I'm not underestimating our generation but I really cannot envision how Singapore will be like in the future. Nationalism and patriotism tells me it'll be better but pragmatism asks really?

Our politics is getting more pluralistic but the ruling party is getting lousier. Frankly speaking I believe many don't mind losing a bit of freedom and rights under a strong and capable leader.

Look at what's going on now. We are still supressed yet our leaders aren't up to standard. Some say be thankful for what we already have, I say why have we deteriorated?

Perhaps those on my Twitter feed would've noticed I made no comment regarding the MDA licensing thingy. If you know me well enough you'll know that I am very opinionated. For me to stay silent on something gripping the nation is highly unusual.

Reason being I've become numb. I don't know and don't bother to judge who's right or wrong. Maybe we're all wrong and MDA doesn't mean harm. Whatever, I say. I can't be bothered.

Time will tell. I surrender my critical thinking skills for the moment because I don't really want to care. And that's happening not only to me now.

Some are becoming apathic. They don't care anymore. Some consider migrating, the rich ones migrate.

That's really sad, don't you think? Previously when I still had my rose glasses on I'd ask why go? Singapore's so fine. Now I know better and sometimes would just wish such people all the best don't live in another Singapore.

So what if such people are labelled 'quitters'? If they can live the life they want in another country then why not? Ultimately it's also about your life. Nationalism yes but pragmatism yes too.

Enough of depressing thoughts regarding Singapore.

4. I truly believe that if people can STOP posting depressing tweets then the whole tweetspace would be more cheerful.

I'm not saying that no everyone HAS to be happy always. That's ridiculous cos we will feel sad from time to time. But what's with 100 tweets about your misery?

I mean if it's that serious then you probably need help. If not then re-consider it cos maybe it ain't that bad.

The worst thing is if you're sad, you post an emo tweet, and you see other such tweets. You'll just think yeah that's so true and get worse. It never helps!

I used to spam emo tweets as well when I was down. It really doesn't work. When I took a breathed from Twitter instead I realised that sometimes we compoud misery and amplify it unnecessarily.

Therefore try to stop emo tweeting. Just once or twice and cool down or go talk to someone. If you need a source of release Twitter isn't really the best place.

5. I should really be a better Buddhist.

6. My lips are hurting rather badly now but no there's no need for a descriptive account of it.

TTFN.


1 June 2013:

Seeds germinate and grow when conditions are suitable.

Over the past week, the new Exco for TjDrama was formed. I am very grateful to be a part of it. Although I didn't get the position I wanted, I'm still glad that I can be part of the team of five who would be managing TjDrama.

I must say, though, that this is truly the first time I felt so engaged and involved with my CCA. Since primary school, I have never been so enthusiastic towards it. And come to think of it, it's the first time I'm this passionate about it.

I wouldn't say I hated Wushu. It did teach me certain values and I enjoyed the time I spent there. However I wouldn't want to do it again. Which was why I ensured that I wouldn't join TJ's Wushu. To me, seven years is good enough.

Actually I guess I wasn't cut out for Wushu. (Why did I continue it in CCHMS anyway?) Also, I never was close to any Wushu people. The only exception is CW but even so, that was because he was in the same lower sec class as me.

But TjDrama is different. I wouldn't say 'it feels like a family' because it doesn't, but at least I feel that I belong here. I have seriously never dreaded any practice session, but it's quite the contrary for Wushu.

All these made me want to run for a position in Exco. I felt that since I benefitted (and am still benefitting) from TjDrama, there is no reason why I shouldn't contribute back to it. That's not to say that I won't contribute if I'm not in Exco though.

I didn't got my desired position, though. Was I sad? Not at all.  Disappointed? Slightly. But above all, I'm still very thankful that I was given this opportunity to serve the club. In some sense my efforts have paid off, albeit in a slightly different way.

I don't know what other members think, but I personally feel that I have a good team to work with. All of them have excellent experience relating to drama, and I would certainly do my best and work hard for the club.

There is a whole year ahead of TjDrama. We have performances, events and our major milestone: SYF. I'm rather optimistic that the club would be able to strive for greater achievements in whatever we do.

Things can only get better.

TTFN.

On the opening of Twelfth Night, Ms N asked us to say out what we would like to see the play achieve. I said 'for the audience to remember it for a long time'. Yesterday marked two weeks after the play, and I met this TJCian who mentioned about it very positively. That certainly made me very happy.



aboutme.

From Singapore. 20 years of age. Blogs as and when inspiration comes, in British English (and Singlish), Traditional Chinese and (hopefully) Russian. Not a lifestyle blogger, expect posts to be serious, dull or even obscure. I enjoy comedy, in particular British humour.



interests.

[more or less in order] medicine | forensics | theatre | modern world history | typography (including style and grammar) | visual design | Taiji | Chinese language and literature | Mandarin pop (and singing) | Apple products.



typography.

PT Serif for main text and links. Ubuntu Condensed for dates, post titles and sidebar headings. Both fonts from Google Web Fonts.



credits.

singzeon. by Sing Zeon is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International Licence. Pictures used here either come from my Instagram (instagram.com/singzeon) or Google image search. For the latter, I do not own those pictures.



quote.

Hard to love. 認真你就輸了。