9 July 2016:
亞健康
The Chinese have a belief of 亞健康, a state between 健康 (healthy) and 不健康 (unhealthy). It doesn’t exactly have an English translation or equivalent, mainly because Westerners do not have such a concept as well.As an amateur explanation, 亞健康 is when you are physically healthy, but not so much psychologically. This is, however, different from when one is mentally unsound. That is considered as 不健康 as well.
What people are referring to is a state in which you are at the brink of falling sick (physically), due being psychologically unwell. If you want a ‘scientific’ example of it, it is somewhat like why stress leads to flu or other illnesses.
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Since the start of 2016, I have fallen sick in 4 out of 6 months (not counting this month to be accurate). Truth be told, these aren’t major sicknesses – merely flu. However, to me this already indicates that I have been firmly 亞健康.
I still remember in Feb, I looked (and actually was, lah) so sick that my encik ‘ordered’ me to go home and rest. But because I live so far away from camp, taking MC is actually less desired than usual.
This state of affairs is, obviously, very alarming, at least to me. Even during pre-O or pre-A levels period, I have never fallen sick this often. And back then as with now, I have been taking vitamin C tablets regularly.
Which makes me worry: am I simply too weak to take on stresses? What happens in future, in university or even when I start working?
~
My situation in camp now is slightly more stabilised and resolved. I won’t say it has improved, per se, but I guess I am less affected by certain things. Maybe, just maybe, after ORD I will write a long expose-all post, if I still bother by then.
But of course, from time to time, past memories and experiences still come back to haunt me. I am very afraid of the same scenarios happening but with different people. And sometimes this makes me act weird, which doesn’t help.
Still, I guess I can only live day by day and see how things go from there. And I’m hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.
TTFN.