26 April 2014:
I will slog over this endless road to its end and my own.
It's three days to SYF!
Today was a rather emotionally roller-coaster day. (Very bad phrasing, I know.) Today I experience and learnt many things, which once again makes me really glad that I chose to join TJDrama.
Actually, I had a really ominous feelings about today. I was almost certain that today would be The Bad Run Day. Legend has it that there will be a day where things hit an absolute minimum before progressing up again.
Last year during Twelfth Night, that happened very near opening night, which was why I was so sure it's gonna be today. Not that the teachers would purposely rage at us, but somehow I thought we would just under-perform.
Thankfully, we didn't. Granted, it wasn't good either. Even the teachers said it was a 60% performance. However, at least we didn't witness vulgarities, flying objects and crying. Instead, we received a 'heart-to-heart talk' from the teachers, H and D.
I actually felt bad when I heard Ms N say she needed a reassurance. I don't think she has high hopes for us actually; she just wants us to respectfully and sincerely tell our story. Yet all we've been giving is fluctuating standards.
The teachers have been working hard; this I cannot deny. From the start, they have been very involved in the whole thing, taking turns to do whatever that was required. They help with our lines, coordinated stuff, etc.
Therefore we really shouldn't disappoint them by telling a lousy story on Tuesday. I truly believe Ms N when she says she couldn't care less if we got a certificate of participation so long as we put in our best.
Then tying in to what H mentioned, we are not bonded as a cast. Of course we don't hate each other (or at least I don't hate anyone, and others don't show it visibly for me to see so far). However, we really don't know much about each other.
Come to think of it, it is sad. Because we aren't professionals that meet for a production; we are members of the same CCA. It just happens that we are grouped together as a cast to do this production.
Yet, we aren't bonded. After SYF, there is no CCA for J2s. This means that we will have no more reason to come together again, unless we deliberately meet up. No wonder H was sad for us. And of course, this affects our performance.
~
It's 3 days to SYF and now I feel slightly that this play is creeping into my life. Yes previously it has already invaded my time with rehearsals but I didn't exactly feel for it unlike Twelfth Night.
Now, I'm starting to feel sense of connectedness towards it, just as it's about to end. I'm guessing after this week once we're done with our SYF presentation and school showcase, there'll again be withdrawal symptoms.
Previously, I was honestly wondering if that would happen. It did for Twelfth Night, rather badly. We would talk and make references to our lines in the play, or listen to its 'theme song'. Till now I still smile when hearing it.
And yes, slowly but surely, we have started referencing this play's lines. I guess perhaps for this one the whole feeling came later than usual, but better late than never. And all this attachment would certainly make our performance better.
~
On Monday it'll be our final run with an audience of teachers and maybe some higher-ups. No matter whether they like it or not, it's our job to deliver it the way it's supposed to be done authentically.
Then on Tuesday we step into that black box and perform our piece to the judges who will hopefully like it. I think Ms N has a powerful ambition which isn't that hard to achieve but it certainly requires a lot within these few days if it were to happen.
On Friday we kick off three shows for our showcase. Actually this is the part where I look forward most to. Like what D said we as performers have the privilege to articulate what the common man may wish to say.
This is all the more so since our play is a devised piece with our memories embedded within. Therefore others may have a similar memory too. So I look forward to telling the story as part of the whole team.
May the week be a fruitful one.
TTFN.