5 December 2013:
How much is a birthday worth?
I have never been a fan of birthdays and birthday celebrations. Personally, I am perfectly fine if people do not remember my birthday or celebrate it for me, even my family. To me, a birthday is actually yet another day of existence.As a result, I seldom wish others on their birthday or celebrate others’ birthdays. I do so only if I am a close friend. Other than that, I actually do not really bother about when people celebrate their birthdays.
But I understand others do not think the same way as me. For many others, a birthday is an enjoyable day where they would get together with friends and family during meal times and look forward to receiving presents.
Of course, I do not actively frown upon such thinking; it is perfectly fine if others choose to do so. However, I have noticed a troubling thing about birthdays and how they are celebrated.
For those who value birthdays (not me), I don’t know if you have noticed: nowadays, many a birthday greeting is done through Facebook. Personally, I would regard it as insincere. However since I don’t value birthdays, it’s still fine for me.
(Nevertheless, I have removed the option to show others my birthday. I believe that my close friends – those who really bother – would know it. Others who aren’t that close and don’t bother need not know anyway.)
Today is radio DJ Siao Jia Hui’s birthday. I found out about it on air, where Cruz Teng talked about it, so did Jeff. And what Jeff went on to say made me nod in agreement. It seems like the value of birthdays have been diluted.
Jeff was saying that if his close friends merely wished him on Facebook, he would feel hurt. Indeed. Personally, even though I don’t celebrate my birthday, if that person is my close friend, I would definitely do more than a simple message.
Which I did, over the past few months. I have sent out long messages to friends whom I treasure for their birthday. To me, a Facebook message is downright insincere. That should be left to those who pretend to care.
Another trend would be wishing in Whatsapp groups. This happened during my birthday. I had actually not told anyone in my class about my birthday, since to me none are close enough as yet.
Yet, someone found out and wished me on the class Whatsapp group. Later on, a few others wished me too. I am not angry at or blaming anyone. However, I honestly believe that if you really wanted to, a personal message would’ve been better.
To me, such wishes are at best a form of goodwill. It is done as a matter of good manners, but without much thought. These are stock greetings: with the words ‘happy’ and ‘birthday’ and a name and maybe an emoticon or two.
To me, these are rather insincere greetings. Of course I will not snub them, but I honestly am not as thankful, as compared to when my friends write out heartfelt personalised messages for me during my birthday.
Therefore, for those who value birthdays, I would suggest: find out the birthdays’ of your close friends and properly celebrate it for them. Don’t wish them in Whatsapp groups or on Facebook. Those are infinitely diluted stock greetings.
For those who have personally wished me on my birthday this year, thank you very much, I deeply appreciate it. I believe I have also replied one-by-one, to reciprocate your sincerity.
As for those who have wished me using stock greetings, don’t bother. In the first place I don’t value birthdays, so I do not expect people to remember it. So don’t bother wishing through Facebook or wishing in groups.
Disclaimer: I am not angry at anyone. While my tone may sound passive-aggressive, I am not trying to guilt-trip anyone as well. Those were simply my reflections based on what I observe of people and how they wish others.
TTFN.