26 March 2013:
Don’t you think gay sex is unnatural and disgusting though?
I was asked this question on my ask.fm, and since I figured this is probably gonna be a very long reply I shall answer it here as another blog post anyway. There are going to be sexual terms described and discussed explicitly, so if you are uncomfortable with it then please stop reading.Before I mention anything regarding this topic, I suppose some definitions would be necessary. ‘Gay sex’ would refer to anal intercourse between two males.
There are two keywords in the question as well which are essential: ‘unnatural’ and ‘disgusting’. Taken from the Oxford Dictionary, ‘unnatural’ means ‘contrary to the ordinary course of nature, abnormal’; ‘disgusting’ means ‘arousing strong revulsion or strong indignation’. Along the way, there may be the need to introduce other terms, which shall be properly defined as well.
Firstly, I would like to tackle the assertion that gay sex is disgusting. This claim may be easily refuted because the sense of disgusting does not have a solid grounding and definition. Meaning, different people have different thresholds of disgust.
I did a random search on Google as to what people found disgusting. Answers varied, from strawberries to cutting one’s nails in public to oysters. As can be seen, strawberries are not often perceived to be disgusting, but to at least one person, they are. Also, some may regard eating worms and spiders as disgusting. However, history shows that our ancestors, ancient Romans, actually loved to eat insects!
Therefore, I would say that ‘disgusting’ is rather subjective. It is difficult to judge whether gay sex is disgusting. Gays who practise it certainly do not think so, conservatives very much think so, while certain heterosexuals may just accept that it is another form of sexual behaviour. (Some heterosexuals do practise anal intercourse too, for that matter.)
The example regarding ancient Romans do bring me to a side note, though. It shows that what one era of people regards as normal may be what another era of people regards as abnormal. There is evidence that ancient Greeks (amongst other civilisations) practised homosexual anal intercourse for pleasure. That was a societal norm (believe it or not) at that time. Thousands of years later, the behaviour of insect-eating is largely frowned upon. As for gay sex, it's still being debated.
Societal norms will change. The future generations may accept that there are homosexuals that engage in gay sex. However, I am not saying that ‘let’s all be gay and lesbian!’ In the first place, sexual orientation is not by choice. Furthermore, society is, and has been for a very long time, heteronormative. Heterosexual relationships are viewed as the norm.
I believe and wish for this view to continue. After all, LGBTs would still represent a small community as compared to heterosexuals. All that is needed is acceptance and understanding of homosexuals and their sexual behaviour.
It is time to tackle the part on gay sex being unnatural. Gay sex is indeed unnatural. If you were to look at human anatomy, males are born with penises and females with vaginas. Therefore, sexual reproduction would be about vaginal intercourse (and all that stuff they teach in schools). Since gay sex involves two males, it is unnatural in this definition.
In this sense, female masturbation would be regarded as unnatural as well. This is the case for certain religions and conservatives; however, society is more accepting of it now. There are shops blatantly selling dildos and vibrators for females. (Interesting to note, as well, is that the world’s oldest known dildo is 30000 years old. Again, history shows that female self-pleasure is not that modern a concept.)
However, I do not feel that this should be the only criteria people look at when evaluating gay sex. I prefer to look at whether or not it is deviant and unethical. From a sociological point of view, deviant would mean being against societal norms. In Western countries, gay sex is not deviant in nature, since no laws criminalise gay sex in many of those countries.
In Asian countries, certain countries would probably regard gay sex as deviant. Going by the legal viewpoint, Singapore is probably one of them, since Section 377A of the Penal Code still has not been repealed.
More importantly, though, is that gay sex is not unethical. With regard to ethics, I prefer to focus on human rights and morals. A commonly used argument against gays or gay sex is that ‘If you can accept two males having sex, then you might as well accept paedophilia or bestiality.’ (Paedophilia is the act of having sex with an underage child; bestiality is the act of having sex with an animal.)
However, gay sex differs widely from these two deviant acts. Gay sex is between two consenting males. (If it’s homosexual rape then yes, it’s wrong too.) Bestiality and paedophilia are not between consenting adults. This difference is important, because adult humans are able to think and consider before giving consent.
And as part of human rights, there should be the freedom of choice. If a man is gay and he chooses to engage in gay sex, then so be it. It does not infringe on any morals and both parties are responsible for their actions. In contrast, paedophiles often take advantage of the innocence of children to trick them into having sex. Bestiality also takes advantage of animals’ desires; when animals are high on hormones, they sometimes do not mind mating with something not of its species.
Thus, I may say that yes, if the biological definition is to be strictly followed, gay sex is unnatural. But as illustrated above, my belief is that the act is all right so long as it is not deviant and unethical.
In conclusion, I would like to quote what former Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew said: ‘…leave people to live their own lives so long as they don't impinge on other people’. We should all accept that there is such behaviour happening in society. However, there is no need to actively condemn such acts. Unless gay sex is being done in public, then it is of a different matter and yes, that is severe public nuisance and needs to be stopped. If not, just live and let live; some prefer men, some prefer women. Sex is a basic human need according to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, and it is inevitable that homosexuals need to have this need fulfilled too.