4 November 2012:
Jealousy is a bitch.
Last night I was very jealous. Thankfully it was only a dream. I woke up and checked, there was no such thing. If it was true, who knows what I would do.~
Yesterday was G's birthday. I've known her for 7 years already, and we both (1) love theatre (2) are Buddhists (3) have similar handwriting according to her and (4) like China. Well sometimes I hate it and its people but never mind.
I don't think I have a friend that has so much shared interests as me and knows me for so long. So it is particularly saddening that we would most probably head to different schools next year. We knew from SHHK, then somehow entered CCHMS (a few like J as well from there).
Will we have the fate for another two years together? I'm not optimistic about it. And maybe, it would not be a bad thing.
If we head to the same JC, maybe our friendship would sour or fade. We are not very close now, she has her cliques and I have imaginary friends. In JC, maybe she would have another clique and I would have more imaginary friends.
Then we would drift apart, ain't it? But if we went to different schools, maybe 'absence would make the heart grow fonder' and we would instead be closer. I don't know, perhaps it works as such.
~
Back to jealousy. 佛教說人生本是苦，但我們苦是因為有欲望。剛才說到我嫉妒，那算是一種苦。也就是說，我有欲望。
是呀，我有欲望。我沒有極力不去有欲望，所以它一個接著一個的來了。如果我再不做什麼，那我只好痛苦下去啦。
TTFN.