14 April 2012:
給三位的一些話。
1. To T:I guess we are not as close anymore.
To be honest, I expected it. Sooner or later, you would get irritated by someone like me. So I can't blame you. But I do feel sad, seeing that you have drifted away. We sit so close, yet this gap seems to be getting bigger.
You've joined a clique that I'm not in. You prefer to go with them now, I understand. But I thought you would be able to be honest, at least. It's not that I'm saying that you're a liar.
I would ask you to go for lunch, and you would reject me by saying that you would be doing other things. That's really alright with me. But then, why do I find you at the canteen with them? Why can't you just tell me that you would be going with them?
Even if I am unhappy, it's still better than my finding out later, right? Why must you do it this way?
Perhaps you are very irritated by me. Perhaps my frequent mood swings and outbreaks are now unbearable to you. If you really want out, I'm fine. But it'll be sad, though.
2. To RZ:
Just because you are more famous and good-looking than me, it doesn't mean that you can insult me.
Did you remember the time when you shouted the insult along the corridor while I was patrolling? Do you know how bad I felt?
What's with you being such an arsehole to people that are less "man"? Yes, at times I may be effeminate, but is that a reason for you to pick on me?
What did I do to you? I tried to be friendly, for goodness sake. You once said that I wouldn't return a smile. I did after I knew, I tried to be friendlier and all that.
But how did you respond? Your attitude just got worse towards me. I'm still going to see you in school, and I won't bother with smiling or being friendly anymore. You may continue to say that I am stuck-up, unfriendly, unsocial ... I don't give a damn.
3. To JQ:
Thanks for showing that I am really not appreciated by many people. One reason why I deleted the account was precisely because I had a feeling that many people are pissed off with all my nonsense.
To the extreme, no one would know even if I died or something.
By the way, if you really cared you could have asked.
Then again, I'm probably not that "worth it", eh? So you didn't really care.
~
Sometimes, I feel like I am Sid Jenkins from Skins. I care for my friends genuinely, yet I'm always being displaced or neglected. I don't expect the whole world's attention, just some friends that will be there for each other.
Will that be possible?