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19 May 2013:

Post-production blues have kicked in.


“Will you stay no longer? Will you not that I go with you?”
Sadly, Twelfth Night won’t stay. Things have to come to an end, and the production did, on 18 May 2013. Twelfth Night was a work that took about 3.5 months. I still remember my first time attending the drama tryouts.

It was a fun experience. We did random drama-related stuff; at that time I didn’t know of Twelfth Night yet. It was just doing improv and certain games. I was fascinated by it. Okay to be honest I have been dying to return to theatre so I guess it’s bias on my part too.

On the second session then were we introduced to the production. A script was given out but that was a condensed version of it. It only had certain scenes from Act 1 and 2. After looking through it, I decided to have a go at Sir Toby for the auditions.

But I didn’t get the role after all. I got the role of Antonio. To be honest, before I was given the role, I didn’t even look at and consider Antonio. It wasn’t that I despised him as a character, but I guess it didn’t interest me at that time. I was slightly disappointed.

Then again, theatre isn’t for the selfish. I trust that the directors and teachers would have considered carefully and trusted that I could have done this role well, therefore entrusting it to me. Since they felt this way of me, I had to do Antonio justice.

Rehearsals began the session after auditions. I remember the director H starting it off by telling us that we had to walk in the footsteps of our character. I took timid ones. They were hesitant and unfamiliar. That was what I thought was Antonio.

How wrong that was. But more of that anon. Basically I did my characterisation wrong. I know in literature (and the humanities) there really isn’t a ‘wrong answer’, but I guess what I did was illogical. It simply deviated from what Shakespeare portrayed Antonio to be.

Yet at the point of time I thought I had got it, and this ‘timid pirate’ (sense the irony?) thing went on till H told me one day that I had to be more ‘manly’. And that sent me thinking of what exactly should Antonio be.

All along my premise was that since Antonio longs for companionship in Sebastian, he is therefore not very brave and in fact slightly subservient. Therefore I always started off my lines with a slightly whiny tune to it.

As I was saying, H told me to stop since it was too much of a ‘gay play’. And after thinking through, indeed, this was not the only way to portray Antonio. In fact, it probably isn’t one way to portray him either. From then on Antonio evolved into something more.

I did my research. For someone that loathes research work (I like general reading; specific, critical and focused reading bores me), I must say I really did put in much more effort than usual. To me Antonio may be a small role but I still had to do it well.

The greatest change of Antonio came just weeks before the play. This was when hot seating was done. It was my first time doing a hot seating, prior to that I didn’t even know what that was about. Thankfully the hot seating really did help me a great deal.

During the hot seating, I portrayed a strong and confident Antonio. He was gangster-ish, but not entirely that Singaporean kind that suffixes Hokkien vulgarities to every sentence. I did make my cast laugh in the process, and I guess to me it was a slight confirmation that I am at least on the correct path.

“Let me know of you, whither you are bound.”
I probably could say the same to my co-actor N, who is acting as Sebastian. During the early periods of rehearsals, he often came late due to cheer practice. But of course, I didn’t blame him at all. I understood that he was busier and had to sacrifice here and there.

Yet I was a little panicky. Our two characters actually appear the latest in the play (in Act 2 scene 1). In the early parts of rehearsals H focused on Act 1 (rightly so), and because of that I wasn’t able to do much blocking. Therefore I was afraid that we would be unable to do well.

Fortunately my worries were unfounded. Eventually blocking came to Act 2 and our scene was done as well. I was probably too worried for my own good because the blocking for Act 2 scene 1 turned out to be rather simple since it was a short scene.

Then again, this scene did give me many problems. As compared to Act 3 scene 3 (which was longer), the both of us actually spent more time here. It’s slightly ironic but I guess it was necessary since this was our first scene and it had to leave an impression.

There was one rehearsal where Ms N and H were watching. We re-did the scene so many times. We even did it without lines or with improv-ed lines, just so that we could get the feel of how that scene should be. Thankfully, we did get it right eventually.

All in all I really would like to thank my co-actor N. I worked with him most throughout the play since we had two scenes together. I suppose halfway through the process of rehearsals he got slightly disenchanted by it and was slightly moody. I didn’t really do much to help him out, really sorry about that.

Yet I’m glad that he eventually regained his passion for the production and pressed on with all of us. I’m sure that the compliments he received (and fans he gained) sure made the journey worth it. “Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame.” Nah, I’m sure he didn’t, he did good feature proud.

“O, what is love? ‘Tis not hereafter.”
Every play has a central message. For a long while, I didn’t really think of what the central message of Twelfth Night was to me. I simply knew that it was basically people loving other people in a love polygon. (Polygon cos it’s too complicated.)

But I came to a realisation on Opening Night. (Sounds so cliché, but it’s true.) I was reading the programme booklet that was placed neatly outside the Black Box. There was a chunk of words by H about the play.

And that was when I got it. The play is about, simply, love. (Okay actually it’s rather obvious in hindsight but I guess I was a fool then.) Feste’s question was the most significant of all in the play, since it provides reason for every character’s actions.

Why did Duke Orsino lament “If music be the food of love, play on”? Love. Why was Antonio upset when Sebastian had to leave? Love. Why did Malvolio so readily wear yellow stockings? (Mistaken) love, albeit some self-love thrown in as well.

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” This line wasn’t part of the (original) play but it was added in and I think it’s really beautiful. It sets the mood for the audience and gives them food for thought.

And yes, Feste’s song actually has wisdom in them. It beckons people to go love immediately and wait not, since “in delay there lies no plenty”. There are too many stories of people wishing ‘if only I had told him / her that I loved him / her’.

“This fellow is wise enough to play the fool, and to do that well craves a kind of wit.” Indeed it is so. I don’t know what others think of Feste when they watch D acting it out. Although she portrays it like some foolish person, the fool actually knows everything.

Perhaps the only time she gets confused is when she too mistook Sebastian for Cesario. But then again with the fool we can never be too sure, maybe she was still playing the fool all along.

“Make your excuse wisely, you were best.”
I cannot say that rehearsals were smooth-sailing. Along the way I got upset with certain people. (Actually it was only one.) Now I’m all right with him though I certainly am not gonna be as close to him as I was.

To put it bluntly, I cannot work with people who are selfish and have a victim complex. Such people blame others for their own mistakes, distorting what happened in the process. I was aghast when I saw that taking place with my own eyes.

I really cannot fathom how such people think. They assume that people are out to get them or that somehow they end up being blamed. Well, chances are, you deserved to be blamed. Especially since theatre isn’t a solo game.

Theatre has always been like a team sport. Although cast mainly gets the limelight, there has to be an equally supportive crew behind their backs for the whole thing to work. And even within cast, co-actors have to support each other. It’s the simplest principle.

Yet when things go wrong, he chooses to blame others. And the worst thing is that he was actually at fault. During rehearsals there are bound to be mistakes happening. I don’t see why people should point fingers and blame each other. Thankfully no one else does it except him.

And at least when you want to blame others, please make sure you are ‘holier than thou’. If teachers blame us, it’s understandable. But for a co-actor to blame a senior co-actor (when it’s the former’s fault), that’s wholly unacceptable and deplorable.

I really didn’t want this to descend into a rant. I’m actually no longer angry any more. However, I seriously hope that he would be more responsible and get rid of his victim complex. Otherwise, it’s really difficult collaborating with him.

~

The play has given me so many things. I am very grateful to have a wonderful cast, wonderful directors (H and CW) and wonderful teachers. Indeed I am really blessed that everyone is putting their all to make it a success.

Like what Mr T said yesterday, this play is actually quite large-scale. There is swing cast and alumni coming back to act. And also, this play isn’t the easiest Shakespearean play one can put on stage. Yet, it was a success, and it was with the help of everyone.

I agree with what H was saying. Theatre is about life. It’s just that theatre shows only a snippet of what goes on. As in the case of Twelfth Night, the characters were all alive before that. They had their stories; but the main focus was what happened at that point.


~

It is very, very heartening to hear how people enjoyed the play, especially after we put in so much hard work. Granted, there were not-so-flattering comments, but still on the whole I think we did well.

I sincerely thank those who came to watch and truly enjoyed the show. It’s really nice when I hear people commenting about how $15 was well-spent. Previously some complained that it was too expensive and bet that we would have low ticket sales. Out of tune, sir, ye lie.

Also, I get really happy when people tell me about how they were shocked (pleasantly) by my character in the play. The outfit certainly was a shocker, and also the character I put on was starkly different from my usual self.

And that again is the beauty of theatre. It allows people to take on different roles and think in their shoes. I suppose for me the shock factor was greater because I took pains to ensure that nothing leaked out except that I was acting as Antonio.

I craved for the stage for four years. My last ‘production’ was in P6 and that was part of the New Year’s Concert. I really missed being in theatre, acting to my heart’s content. And I’m really glad that TjDrama gave me the opportunity to do so.

I actually have a sense of belonging being in TjDrama than in Wushu previously. I don’t hate Wushu, but it’s just that I don’t really feel anything for it now. I have mere acquaintances from there and we almost never keep in touch now.

This is starkly different from TjDrama. Actually Wushu can be quite an individualistic sport. Besides the group routine, people mainly strive to achieve personal excellence. Of course on the side they help to boost the school as well. Nevertheless ...

~

Again, many thanks to everyone that has made Twelfth Night such a wonderful experience. I could go on, but then again some things are best left unsaid. We did the best we could as a club, cast and crew. Things can only get better from here.

TTFN.

P.S. It's such a wonderful feeling to be writing again. This has been an epic post of >2100 words, four hours in the making.

P.P.S. It sucks when people talk to me and I have the urge to reply using a related line in Twelfth Night but can’t. Cos otherwise I’ll just be some weirdo.



aboutme.

From Singapore. 20 years of age. Blogs as and when inspiration comes, in British English (and Singlish), Traditional Chinese and (hopefully) Russian. Not a lifestyle blogger, expect posts to be serious, dull or even obscure. I enjoy comedy, in particular British humour.



interests.

[more or less in order] medicine | forensics | theatre | modern world history | typography (including style and grammar) | visual design | Taiji | Chinese language and literature | Mandarin pop (and singing) | Apple products.



typography.

PT Serif for main text and links. Ubuntu Condensed for dates, post titles and sidebar headings. Both fonts from Google Web Fonts.



credits.

singzeon. by Sing Zeon is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International Licence. Pictures used here either come from my Instagram (instagram.com/singzeon) or Google image search. For the latter, I do not own those pictures.



quote.

Hard to love. 認真你就輸了。