singzeon.

3 December 2016:

white bedsheet.

when I first started
someone told me
here they stay until
they are okay enough
to go back home
or until they die

there he was
bed by the corner
he lost most teeth
so I did the talking
but he tried very hard
to respond with mumblings
and I tried to listen

sometimes it got awkward
cos I didn’t understand
and I would tell him so
and he tried even harder
but mostly futile
yet at least
we brought him around
exercise, games, whatever
and he responded well

then it slowly began
one time the nurse said no
you cannot bring him
he has a lot of phlegm
then the stays at the hospital
one week, two weeks, three?
still he came back

when he returned
I stopped by his bed
it was then I noticed
the bedsheets were very white
why? because last time
his body didn’t curl up so much
neither did his hands too
but now it’s like he shrank
and so I saw
his white bedsheet

his eyes still lit up
when he saw me or the rest
but lesser so
because soon he got hooked up
to this machine
attached to his nose
giving him oxygen
to breathe, to live
and he was pretty much asleep
most of the time

and I didn’t know what to do
I still popped by
but lesser so
after all he was sleeping
I told myself
still got others to attend to
and soon lesser became not really
and became none
I guess part of it
was me avoiding him
because I didn’t know
how to react

but so anyway today
I passed by his bed
corner bed, hard to miss actually
his bedsheet was still white
whiter than ever, in fact
but he didn’t go home