31 January 2014:
新年快樂
瞧那褪色的紙燈籠
小小一隻
在強風中劇烈搖晃著
似乎隨時能掙脫繩子
聽
那陳舊的新年歌
就一兩首
在商店裡不停播放著
仿佛快要鑽進耳根子
這是新年的氣息
大人說
大人就是要你這麼認為
新年快樂萬事如意恭喜發財…
紅包拿來！
這才是小孩要的
新年快樂！
怎麼快樂？
14 January 2014:
New year resolutions ...?
I am not a fan of new year resolutions. To put it honestly, it's because I know that I lack preserverance and will never get to fulfilling them. However, I would like to set a 'resolution' for myself this year.And it is fairly simple, actually: to finish my homework (tutorials). Am I hearing sniggering or laughter now? Indeed, it seems ridiculous that a student has to actually set such a resolution. Nevertheless, I admit that I often never finish my homework.
Mostly, it's due to laziness / tiredness. At times when I return home late or have a long day, I am too tired and don't wish to do anything. As a result, I don't do my tutorials which are discussed the next day.
Yes, as I have found out, this harms no one but me. I cannot catch up on what the teacher is talking about and feel lost. Therefore, I resolve to finish my tutorials for the whole of this year. I think it's the basic minimum as a student, actually.
(Which makes me all the more ashamed that I haven't been able to accomplish it.) From now onwards, I shall strive hard and complete all tutorials, preferably before the due date. Another thing I realised is that when I rush, I end up writing nonsense.
This amounts to nothing since I have to 're-learn' the topic at hand. So, I shall start my tutorials as early as possible, so that I need not rush. (I am sensing how ridiculous this is, since this is really what's expected of a student, yet I'm not doing it.)
Seniors have advised that in JC, there's no use for a last-minute dash. It has to be a consistent jog, followed by a short sprint towards the end. I really should start running (metaphorically) soon, otherwise I'm just going to be left behind.
As a sidenote, I'm really glad that I have been able to defeat my inner fatigue and not stop during runs. Although it is a short distance (relatively), nevertheless to me this shows that it is mind over matter and I can build up my stamina. I really hope I can continue this and slowly improve my running of 2.4 km, in time for the NAPFA test this year.
Along the way to completing and achieving this resolution, I have a few potential obstacles. One, the biggest, is my handphone as a distraction. It contains a web browser (YAY INTERNETZ) and many games and appswhich I enjoy (daily).
I strive to cut down on its usage and stick more to my plans of what to finish every day. It'll no doubt be hard (for a weak-willed soul like me), but I am orientating myself towards the long-term goal of A Levels now.
~
If you think that the above sounds very like announcements from the Chinese Communist Party (in terms of its vocabulary), yes, I may have been influenced after reading their policy announcements previously. (Go on, judge me.) But, what of that.
TTFN.
10 January 2014:
Open House is over.
There is a myriad of emotions within me now, because I am feeling disappointed, happy, pleased, contented at the same time. I don't know how best to express it, because I don't think a blog post will do it justice anyway.I am glad that it is over. Honestly, there were many times leading up to this Open House that I felt I was going to die (metaphorically). Things were overlapping with each other and I couldn't cope with them.
Thankfully, I have a very good partners. They helped me with many things and ensured that I didn't explode with all that stress. (I had a pimple outbreak due to the stress. I am very glad that it wasn't cheilitis instead.)
I'm glad that things went well. Honestly. I was very panicky before that but luckily no major issues cropped up, and things were generally smooth and well-received. At least my efforts were not in vain.
Currently, all I want is sleep and a massage. I hope I can sleep early, but I don't think I can because there's history project discussion later on. It's not very nice to leave first at say 11 while everyone else is still working on it.
But speaking of history, I really need to work hard for the UN project. Since my teachers aren't teaching this project, whatever we research (or have not researched) will be whatever material the whole cohort has.
I would think it's unresponsible if we were to come up with shoddy work. Therefore, no matter how much I dislike this topic, I have to work hard and do it. All the best to me. (It's really painful to read through so much history readings ...)
~
I spoke to R's junior just now, who was curious about history at A Levels. To ensure he doesn't get a shock when he starts his lessons in February (if he takes it), I told him all about the 'culture shock'.
And yes, I bashed many of his hopes that O Level history would be similar to A Level history. (Ironically, I haven't fully switched over myself, but I'm working hard towards it!) I really hope that I can excel in history, especially by the time A Levels come.
TTFN.
7 January 2014:
船到橋頭自然直！
終於熬過去了。差不多一個星期的時間，我仿佛被各方擠壓，好痛苦。
第一次感到這麼忙碌，實在透不過氣。
不過幸好都過去了。還是有忙的事情，不過至少暫時不會那麼忙。
幾天前，我似乎遺失了希望，覺得徹底糟糕。
好多好多事情要完成，仿佛什麽也做不好。
可是，船到橋頭自然直！
幸好幸好。
今天，我終於做完我的視頻了。脫了快一個月，實在歹勢。
謝謝ＳＣ的人對我們特別寬容，也謝謝Ｊ好意提醒我。
啊～好感激。
也特別謝謝ＫＬ。我昨天實在難受，便向他大抱怨。之後他就開導了我。
我們的擺設等漸漸的完成了，星期五的時候應該「可以見人」！
本來開學第一天好糟糕，至少今天好多了，挺開心的。
不過剛才差點崩潰，不小心按錯了東西，所有文件不剪掉。
所幸軟件特好，一直有存檔，就找了回來。
否則我真的會哭起來吧。
我現在對於星期五的開放日挺興奮的，特別是我們喜劇的。
今年跟往年不同，做比較不一樣的活動。真心希望會成功，否則就糟糕了。
現在是時候專注完成功課了。幸好我早前完成了大多數的假期功課否則現在肯定更糟糕。因為新的功課開始進來了。
就這樣。
2 January 2014:
非常了得。
那些認識我的人應該知道，我相當喜歡華文華語的。為此，絕大多數人會認為我是從中國／台灣來的。我對華語的熱衷一直燃燒著，只可惜因為實際理由，環境所迫，導致我沒在中學／初級學院修讀中華文學。不過，我仍然積極聽說讀寫華文華語。對我來說，這是我的母語，是不能磨滅的。而且，它帶有一個文化的價值。新加坡的華語比起中國的華語是有差別的。雖然新加坡政府採用規範的「普通話」，但是在這裡不難聽到獨特的新加坡式華語仍被使用。
我大概知道自己是個離群值。試想一個正態分佈圖，我就是那個在+2σ範圍徘徊的一個值。於是，一直以來，我都挺「孤獨」的。除了偶爾一兩個和我一樣的「華文愛好者」，我的社交圈子都是那些討厭／不喜歡（即不討厭不過不喜歡）華文的人。
遇到好的文章，好的作者，好的戲，好的劇，沒人分享。這著實令人納悶。與此同時，你可以說我有點「偏見」，不過我認為中國人跟新加坡人是不一樣的。如果把我認識的中國朋友算在內，我是有多一點「愛好者」。不過，他們不是新加坡人。
那是問題嗎？其實，不一定。如果他們長期居住在此，基本上也算融入到本地的社會了，應該是和新加坡人沒兩樣。但是，他們初來乍到的，肯定還有「中國氣息」，我就當不同人看待了。這算是排外主義嗎？
絕對不是。而是，我認為要討論本地的文學作品，最好還是本地人，或者上述的來新許久的中國人。因為這些人能夠體會本地作品中的某些主體等等。所以不是刻意排除，而是跟新來的中國人談及非常本地的東西是會有些雞同鴨講。
～
我找到了一個「華文愛好者」了！不過，澄清：（一）我不認識他。（二）我不能肯定他是個「愛好者」。既然如此，我為何會「口出狂言」呢？原因如下：（一）我找到一個以中英文寫博文的人。（二）他的華文博文寫得挺流利的。
於是乎，我大膽猜測他是個愛好者，不過也不能果斷肯定。無論如何，我還是非常開心能找到這麼一個博客。對我來說，這猶如海底撈針，不過這回可真撈到針了！我已經在第一時間把他的博客存到我的博客閱讀器中。
我是在偶然的情況下發現到這個博客的。我也不記得在哪裡找到的，應該是我漫無目的地瀏覽推特時按到的吧。那時我快睡著，於是也沒多加留意，所以把博客擱在一旁。直到今天看到，才想起，才嘆惜，為何不讓我早點發現這個博客？
不過說那些也沒有意義了。現在，我只想好好沉浸在這個博主的博文當中。他的博客真是我喜歡的那種，不是無聊的流水帳，而是由針對性的回憶自己的一天。偶爾也會分享自己的看法或喜好等等。
～
是的，我好久沒有用中文寫博文了。這主要因為我在學校里不那麼經常使用它了。我的中學算是個華校。雖然大多數的人都討厭華文，不過他們或多或少還是會使用它。到了我的初級學院，這裡雖然有華文文學，不過已融入了其他三個種族了。
結果，我不那麼經常使用華語了。再者，我的同班同學也不經常使用華語，他們是在口試前夕才突然「熱愛中文」的。於是乎，我的華文程度從那時開始慢慢的下降了。雖然我還是能夠發出字正腔圓的華語（新加坡式的破爛華語我也行），但我的詞彙量縮小了許多。
就連打這個博文的時候，我就發覺自己似乎來來去去都在使用幾個詞而已。以前，我一定能夠利用許多近義詞讓我的表達更加精彩。我想，我的成語量也一落千丈了，實乃慚愧。儘管今年裡還是有和人玩成語接龍，不過近幾個月來我沒有好好使用華語了。
在這裡順道提一下：雖然我提倡學成語，但是我卻非常鄙視電視劇里角色使用一些深奧的成語。對我來說，那時弄巧反拙。即使在中國，成語不是在日常生活中隨口使用的。它必須在某種特殊情況下，在比喻某件事而使用，通常帶有趣味或嚴重性。然而，新加坡的有些電視劇卻讓角色在莫名其妙的場合中使用一些深奧的成語，讓人覺得怪怪的。那些討厭華文的青年，豈不更加抗拒它？依我認為，電視劇的角色使用一些簡單易懂的成語還好：「害群之馬」、「守望相助」；要是用上大部份都聽不懂的成語，那只能讓人笑話。
2014年里，讓我使用華文華語更是件難事。今年有會考，所有的科目都以英語考試。不像以前，能夠用華語來和同學討論華文的東西。況且，正如我所說的，同學也不熱衷於將華語。以上聽起來像藉口，似乎更像是我自己不像再努力用華文華語了。
實施並非如此。儘管「困難重重」，我還是會堅持，不過以其他方式使用華文華語。不能說，就用讀。學校每天都有送來一份報紙，放在公共場合里。去年我每個星期五＋有空時都會到那裡讀讀。今年，我也將延續這個習慣。
都說我是個離群值，於是我也就不管別人一樣的眼光算了。他們要竊竊私語，他們要當面取笑，任他們。天要家人娘要下雨由他們笑話我吧！（我說著說著是有些激動，原諒我。）是的，新的一年里，我覺得自己也該厚臉皮一些，別再管別人的是非那麼多了～
就這樣。
1 January 2014:
